I meet with the group I’ll be running with. It’s two girls, both of which I had met before, mostly in Cher’s sparring classes.

  We exit the building as a big group and head out West, a direction I haven’t gone for a while.

  This was a supplies run, but one of the girls, Vera, had also heard from someone else that there was something specific we were looking for.

  “How are we supposed to find it if we haven’t been told to look for it?” Kate, another girl in our group asks.

  “I guess it’s top secret. Only the guide and a couple others probably know about it.” Vera shrugs as we keep pace with the rest of the group.

  We run and walk in intervals so no one gets too tired. A year and a bit into the Change and this was our new normal now. “Normal”. What an odd word, I think — nothing had felt normal for a while.

  I wondered if it would again. If eventually our day-to-day survival wouldn’t feel so different. If we’d stop dividing our experiences into things that came “before” and “after.”

  But on the other hand, in the “after”, I know more about nature than I did before. A little ironic given that I’m living in an office building.

  We’ve had to learn more about plants, healing, clean water, and how our schedules are much more attuned to the changing of the seasons. For example, during the colder seasons, our runs change. Allowing for more rest with the shorter days.

  We walked and jogged until sunset, reaching a safe point that Alyx pointed out. I’d been here before, but it had been a long time since I’d ventured out here.

  Our safe point was a cleaned out house with nothing left in it that anyone would want to steal. We also kept a few people stationed here in case anyone wanted to overrun it. But so far, just having a couple people around seemed to have deterred most people.

  Myself and a few others helped prepare supper for the group. We were lucky that one of the greenhouses had already started producing. It wasn’t much but some cabbage, carrots, onions, and to my surprise, someone had dehydrated meat.

  Apparently someone had hunted a deer a few days ago. I hadn’t even heard about it. But adding in a few spices, and we had a pretty good stew.

  And, after talking with the couple that were living here, there was an apple tree out back, so we even had fruit for dessert.

  Afterwards, we all sat around, lighting candles and chatting amongst ourselves. Despite my aversion to crowds, I felt myself relaxing. No one seemed to be talking about traveling for once.

  We took turns keeping watch, which was easy splitting up between our group. Only 2-hour shifts, which left lots of time for sleep. Which was good for me, since even with the sparring, and lots of shorter runs, my body was protesting the extra effort.

  “Hey, time to move.” I nodded sleepily to the person who woke me up. Many others were getting ready as well, on sleeping bags spread out in the living room.

  I stretched and stood, only turning around from the centre of the room to change. There wasn’t much room for modesty here.

  Grabbing my bag, I pulled on my shoes, and stepped outside. With Cher’s voice in my head, I did some quick stretches.

  No nightmares last night, thankfully. And even as we started getting ready this morning, no one really cared to talk much about upcoming trips. With the focus being more on getting through the pain, and the motions, it was different from the cafeteria where everyone talked. I was eternally grateful for the break.

  I headed back inside to fill my water bottles and grabbed a couple of extra apples off the counter, keeping one out for breakfast.

  I bump into Alyx as I go to step back, and I apologize quickly.

  “All good, I was about to come find you, we’re heading out soon.” I thank them, and follow everyone outside again.

  “Coast clear?” I ask the main scout, even though I’m sure Alyx must have asked the same thing. The girls nods, and turns to face Alyx as they step up onto the front porch, clapping their hands together so everyone pays attention.

  “Alright everyone, before we continue heading South West, and make it to Brullo, hopefully before dark. Got it?” The group erupts in quiet agreements. Alyx nods. “Split up into the same groups of yesterday, and again, make sure to come get me if you notice anyone lagging behind. We’re all going to get there in one piece, understand?” We all nod, though I wonder if the anyone else in the group has a pit in their stomach. I know better than anyone that there are no guarantees.

  We take off, everyone jogging slowly to begin with. We’re not in a rush yet as everyone warms up, and it’s easy to burn yourself out if you start too quick.

  You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

  Some people chat or gossip amongst themselves, but for the most part we are pretty quiet. Then Vera speaks up after the first couple of hours.

  “Does anyone know what our final destination is?” She asks, her breaths even, despite the jogging pace we’re keeping. I shake my head as she turns back to look at the rest of us.

  “I was told we’re stopping at Bruno, and then carrying on to the West. Past the city limits.” Bren, from another group speaks up. I’ve sparred with him a couple of times, and who easily overtook me. I still remember the bruises, and he almost broke my nose. Overall though, he was a nice guy, but didn’t know his own strength.

  “What’s West of city limits?” I ask. A few around us agree that they’ve never been out that far.

  “Don’t know.” Bren answers similarly. Unlike Vera, his breath is unsteady, and I wonder how much of his training is focused on endurance.

  I try to bring up a map in my head. North is where the bridge is, where I found Abel. My chest aches, missing him already. My thoughts then shift to Barclay and I block it out. I don’t have time to think about him right now.

  South there are some safe houses, like Brullo, but they are spread out, far apart. And outside of city limits in most directions is farmland, and some forests.

  “Anyone want to ask coach?” Vera says, obviously not volunteering herself.

  “Yeah, I will. No promises though.” Bren grins and picks up the pace, catching up to Alyx in the front. We’re about in the middle of the five groups, all keeping pace so far.

  Some of the others chat idly while we wait for his return. I watch his short brown hair dodge in and out of other runners. When he reaches Alyx, I notice he has to look down. Bren is almost half a foot taller.

  “So, anyone seeing anyone?” Vera has spun around and is jogging backwards as she raises one eyebrow and grins mischievously at our group.

  I brace myself, expecting something like that guy who had said he was going to go to Canada with his girlfriend.

  “Yeah, sort of,” Kate answers. She’s a small girl, but grins and Vera and keeps her breaths steady too. “Travis and I—well,” She giggles and her cheeks turn pink. I can’t help but grin. Everything might be wrong in the world, but somehow crushes and love still manage to find their space.

  Travis is a guy I barely know, and he isn’t part of our supply run this time. When I tune back into the conversation, Kate’s going over how they met.

  This is something I still enjoy. Talking about the past doesn’t risk triggering my nightmares or the pain.

  I listen silently, focusing on keeping my breaths even, though it’s difficult. It’s been too long since I’ve been on a multi-day run like this. When I tune back in to the conversation, Kate is still going on about her first date with Travis.

  “So we ended up spending the whole night outside, curled up together to stay warm.” Many of our group laugh, knowing that it hasn’t been that cold at night yet, and Kate is only talking of a couple of months ago.

  Running is a great way to distract yourself, however, sometimes it leaves too much silence for your thoughts to wander. My thoughts go back to Barclay more than I’d like to admit. Or to whatever is happeening with me and the nightmares, and Barclay’s auras that he sees, and whatever you would call is going on between Barclay and I. Had I really almost kissed him in the stairwell yesterday?

  I shake my head, and tell the others that I’m going to run ahead for a bit. If I can tire myself out a bit more, my thoughts will slow eventually.

  I catch up to Alyx, though I know I may regret this burst of speed a few hours from now when I can’t catch my breath and my muscles shake. But I decide I can deal with that when it comes.

  “Hey,” Bren says when I come to the other side of Alyx, I had actually forgotten he had gone up to speak with them. I nod and try to smile slightly, steadying my breaths.

  “I was just talking with Bren about where we’re headed. Anything else?” Alyx turns to Bren, and he shakes his head, waving slightly to me and nodding to Alyx before he drops back. Probably heading back to our group.

  “What’s up? Everything okay?” Alyx glances at me, looking concerned, though I don’t think I’ve given them a reason to be — maybe they’re just noticing how out of breath I am.

  “Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt with Bren”. Alyx shakes their head.

  “No worries, we were done. Anything I can help you with?” I don’t blame them for being worried, as our leader, Alyx is tasked with looking out for us. Why had I decided to come talk to them?

  “Did you hear that we found my brother, Abel?” Their eyes light up at the mention of the name.

  “Oh yeah, I did hear. So I’m guessing Cain isn’t your real name?” They grin.

  “Not exactly,” I grin back.

  “That’s okay, this whole situation has allowed a lot of people to start over. Or become more of who they are. Despite the bad, which is obviously a problem, I think it’s almost refreshing to see people come into their own.” They pause and then glance at me. “Present company included.” I glance at Alyx and wonder what he means. They can’t know of the nightmares, I’m sure.

  “What do you mean?” I ask them bluntly after a moment.

  “Did you used to spar and run before the Change?” They ask gently. I shake my head. “Did you think you could’ve made it through, recovered so strongly from a such a severe injury before?” Obviously referring to my jumping out the apartment building. I shake my head again.

  “And yet,” They gesture to me. “Here you are, strong and capable. You should be proud for how much you’ve been through and how much you’ve worked for it.” They grin at me again and looks forward. Alyx whistles loudly and point left. The whole group turns and we follow them down another street.

  “Thanks,” I say, once we’ve settled back into a rhythm.

  “I didn’t do anything.” They shrug and smile. I drop back after a moment and catch up with Bren.

  “What did I miss?” I ask the group once I find my stride again. I notice my breathing has become steadier now, despite speaking with Alyx.

  “We’re headed to a camp to the West, just before the forests. Should take about a day to get there, then we’re heading back.” Bren answers.

  “Did they say what we’re going for?” He shakes his head. Something secret then.

  “But why bring so many people along if it’s something we’re not supposed to know?” Vera voices what I had been thinking.

  “Protection.” I say the word before I’ve thought it through. Maybe that’s something I should have kept to myself. I don’t want to worry anyone, but I wonder if they’re expecting a fight, or resistance wherever we’re going.

  I brace for the pain to come, expecting someone to speak up. But there’s only some small mutters from the people around me, and no one seems overly surprised at my conclusion.

  “Has anyone been to this camp before?” Kate asks. We all shake our heads.

  We fall into silence for the next few miles, and I know at least for me, I’m wondering what we're running towards.