The day, te in the m, we stopped at a little farming vilge, right o someone's house- they seemed to already be home, and were ing out to see just what the fuck was going on.

  "Hi there," I called out, announg my presence. "Do you mind if we stop here for a half hour? ut the caravan somewhere else if it's in the way."

  "It's alright," the farmer said- a man who looked to be maybe thirty, well-tanned aher-beaten, wearing a pair of battered denim overalls. "Oh- Jenny, no, Jenny don't-"

  "Mister Elf!" the little girl who was evidently named Jenny yelled, running past her father and up to the van. "Are you a Wizard?"

  "I am, yeah," I said, nodding. "Do you need something?"

  "My kitty's been lost for a week!" she pleaded. " you find her?"

  "Jenny, don't-" her father began.

  "I'll see what I do," I said, before opening the door aing out. "I'll need your help, though."

  "Oh, are we at the vilge already?" Faith asked, poking her head out of the living spad into the cab. "What're you doing?"

  "Helping this little girl find her lost cat," I said with a shrug. "Wanna watch?"

  "Sure, I wanna see where yoing with this," Faith said.

  "Alright, now- Jenny, was it?" I waited for her to nod. "I need you to think about your cat really hard. Think about all the good times you've had together, the softness of its fur, and what it looks like. Are you doing that? Good, now keep doing that. So, what I'm about to do is a bit of Bard magid it's going to feel weird, like an itch or a tickle on the inside of your head, but I need you to stay calm, and stay focused o, and to just let the magic work."

  "Hey now," the farmer began, suspiciously.

  "What I'm going to do," I said a bit louder, for his be, "is I'm going to cast a spell to feel the e between you and your cat, and then I use another spell to find out where your cat is. Is that okay with you?"

  "Mhm!" Jenny said, nodding vigorously. "Please, Mister Elf!"

  "Call me Joseph," I said, taking a knee and patting her on the shoulder. "Alright, let's see..."

  I hummed a little tuo myself as I shaped my magicka in different ways from my norm. I was very gd that Occult magic did still use the magicka reserves I built up from being a Wizard, because that meant I could cast way more of it than I'd be able to if I wasn't a Wizard and was still just a dabbling Occultist.

  Jenny's bond with her cat was very obvious to my Occult senses, now, and with just a little twist of magicka, I was able to grab onto the bond, rather than Jenny herself, and from there, with a bit more magicka, I was able to grab onto the other end of the bond, which was, of course, Amelia Rosenthal Whiskers herself. (Jenny was very good at naming things for a seven year old.)

  "Alright," I said, nodding slowly. "I think I found her, but I'm gono take a little walk to be sure. Sir, would you mind ing with me, make sure I don't get into anything I shouldn't? I don't want to trespass in someone's pasture atacked by an angry bull."

  "Yeah, sure thing," the farmer said, nodding. "I'm James. James Courser. And, uh... Thank you."

  I blinked a few times.

  "...Either that's a on name, or I know one of your retives," I said carefully, as we walked around the house, through a little gate in the wire fence, and into a pasture full of sheep.

  "Are you from Redwater?" James asked. "I know my older brother, Matthew, decided he didn't want to be a farmer, and moved there to find work in a factory, but..."

  "Huh, so I do know one of your retives," I said. "I went to high school with your nephew, John Courser. Small world, huh?"

  "Are the two of you... friends?" James asked tentatively.

  "I never particurly liked him, holy," I said primly, instead of the less-varruth of 'After stealing a family heirloom that was all we had to remember my half-uncle's mother by, I beat him up and cut off his ear in a warehouse.'

  "That's... fair, yeah," James said, sighing. "Matthew was always... Well, my brother's a prick, to be ho. I'm not surprised his son turned out the same way."

  "What makes you thihe prid not me?" I asked.

  "A little kid you've never met ran up to you and demanded you use magic to find her lost cat," James said dryly. "And as far as I tell, it just hasn't occurred to you that you could've told her no."

  "Well, fair enough," I said, chug. "Alright, so... Oher side of this hill- is that still your nd?"

  "It is, yeah," James said, nodding. "Nobody wa, because hills are a pain to farm on, and nobody else wants tle sheep, so..."

  "Alright, cool," I said, walking over the crest of the hill. "So, what I think happened is... Was there a big rain storm sometime withi week or so?"

  "There was, yeah," James said, nodding. "Why?"

  "My guess is that the cat was outside when it started raining, bolted for the cover, and after it finally stopped raining, a lot of the st cues she used to find her way home had gotten washed away, and now she's fused as hell."

  "That... is very possible," James admitted. "Jenny loves that cat to bits, but good gods is it stupid."

  "The best kind of pet cat, in my opinion, except when you live somewhere with predators," I said. "Hrm... Ah, there we go." I broke into a light jog down the hill, making a beeline for where I knew Miss Whiskers was hiding out.

  "Whoa, easy there," James said, pig up his own pace as I bolted down the hill.

  "Hey, kitty," I said, croug dowo an old, rotted-out, hollow log. " with me, okay? Jenny misses you- I'm gonna take you home."

  Now, believe it or not, cats did not usually speak Hikaano, but with just a little pulse of Occult magic, barely enough to qualify as a proper spell, this truly stupid cat was very easy to viny safety and friendliness, and it took barely a sed for her to cmber on out of that log and into my arms.

  "Well, I'll be damned," James said, pnting his hands on his hips. "I thought she'd beeen by a coyote or something."

  "Nope," I said, scratg Whiskers behind the ears, earning some very loud purrs in the process. "The sheep protected her."

  James ughed at that, and shook his head slowly. "Well, damn. Thank you, Joseph- I mean that sincerely. If yoing to be stoppio rest anyways, I don't suppose I could vince you to eat lunch with us? It's the least we could do."

  "Sure, if yonna twist my arm like that," I said, grinning.

  "Eat up, dearie," Helena, James' wife, insisted. She was the sort of pretty that you saw in human-published magazines, with fair skin, a slender build, and golden blonde hair... which was, therefore, a little discerting to see paired with denim overalls, a pin cotton t-shirt, and the fact that the only reason she didn't have dirt under her fingernails was because she knew better than to cook without washing her hands first. "Look at you, you're all skin and bones!"

  "I'm an elf," I protested.

  "So is she," Helena said, gesturing at Talia.

  "I've tried for years to fatten him up," Talia said, sighing.

  "Talia, you've cooked for me maybe three times in your life," I said.

  "Over the course of years, yes," Talia said, nodding.

  I rolled my eyes, and moved on. "Anyhow... James, I don't suppose you ever get out to Redwater, do you?"

  "Once a year, to sell some of my harvest and buy things we 't get here," James said. "Why?"

  "ime you're there, go to the neighborhood called Greenwood Vilge- or just 'Elftown,' people call it that too- and ask for a man named Napoleon Iro. Tell him you're a friend of Joseph, and he'll put you up for the night and send you off with a few bottles of elven wine and a big tin of elven tea-leaves."

  "Hey now, you've done enough for me," James protested. "You know I 't pay you back for that."

  "This would be you doing me a favor, holy," I said. "I wanna be a unity Big Man like my dad is, and this is how I do that."

  "...Yeah? How's that?"

  "For elves, the Big Man is a busybody who's always got his nose in everyone's business," I said. "He solves problems for people with whatever skills he's got, or with whatever es he's got- everyone knows the Big Man, and feels like they owe him a favor or two, so when he es by and asks you to help someone else because he 't help them, you'll happily do it."

  "Alright..."

  "So, don't you go w about whether you repay me for my kindness," I said with a shrug. "At some point iure, I'm going to need your help with something, and I will in fae back to you, metaphorical hat in hand. Besides, I'd like to remind you that I did not pay a single red t for this meal."

  "I've been meaning to ask, actually- where is your hat?"

  "High Elves don't really do hats," I said with a shrug. "Historically, only like one in ten High Elves actually worked outside, and most of those worked in forests- not a lot of sunlight or weather beh the opy, you know?"

  John nodded slowly, abs the information carefully.

  "...Actually, y'know what?" I said, tapping my . "There is something you do for me right now, if you really want."

  "You need a hat?" James asked, smirking.

  "I need some straw," I said. "I've just had a weird, disjoirain of thought that brought me to a mae I want to try making, and I'll need some straw to use it on. It's a braiding mae, see, and I know that one of the ways straw hats be made is braiding a wide, ft ribbon of straw and then sewing the edges of that ribbon together into a hat shape."

  "Oh, now that is no problem," James said. "Honey, do we still have that bale?"

  "Up in the hayloft, yeah," Helena said, nodding. "We'll go get it after you've finished your bowl, young man."

  "Well, if you insist..."

  "This is weird," Faith said, once we were ba the van. "You're not usually anywhere his calm, and id-back, and friendly, and nice..."

  "No, he is," Talia said, nodding insistently. "You met him when he was having a bad day."

  "...Huh," Faith said.

  "Like most elves," I added, "I tend to get a lot less patient and fiving when there's a Padin involved."

  Faith winced, and I sighed.

  "...No, no, that's not fair to you, I'm sorry," I said, quietly. "You're... Literally the worst you have ever doo me is be mildly annoying on occasion. You're fine, Faith. It's just... No. No excuses. I'm sorry. I was an asshole to you when I shouldn't have been."

  "...Apology accepted," Faith said. "And... I'm sorry for how I've treated you, too. I've been ruder than necessary, myself."

  "Aaaaaand kiss," Talia said, grinning.

  Faith just looked at me and quirked an eyebrow, which left me with a lot to chew on. What was the fuhing to do in this situation?

  After a moment's pause, I grabbed Faith by the waist, sweeping her off her feet and dipping her low, and kissing her firmly for a few good, long seds.

  Then I put her ba her feet, let go of her, and casually sauntered off back to the driver's to get us ba the road, the sound of Talia's sputtering ughter following me all the while.