The clouds turned as gray as a jail cell when I left the university and threatened to soak me while I walked back into town. Still feeling the buzz from the drinks, I stopped at Grubs Gruel for something to sink my teeth into. Grub had a way with food. “It speaks to me,” he would say. Always told me stories of how he would hear whispers from the cheese and so on. Crazy old cook. The food is good though. Cheap. But good.

  The little eatery is tucked away in an alley. Not many people know it. Plenty of lowlifes gather there, what with it being out of the way. None cause problems. Not wise to pick a fight with a cook who also happens to be a goblin assassin. Best in the realm. Retired. At least in the books.

  Grub always greeted me the same way. “Ah, Johnny. What can an old goblin get for you?”

  “Grub. Been a while. Burger, please.”

  “One rat cheeseburger, coming up.”

  “Add some fries to it—extra oily.”

  He gave me a grin. His yellow, spiked teeth looked even more yellow in the dingy light. “Extra oil? Detective, you aren’t trying to kill over before I get to, are you?”

  “What? And stop your retirement pn?” The running gag never gets old. He cackled loudly.

  “Well, with all that drinking, I’m surprised your liver ain’t slit your throat.”

  Good ol’ Grub. Knows how to take your mind off things. I found a dark corner of the counter to sit at and waited for my food. Rain started falling as I sat down. Everyone outside suddenly ran for cover. You’d think the water could kill you.

  Grub put a pte of food down in front of me. “Thanks, Grub.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  “Heard about the orc who washed up under the bridge?”

  He shot me a look as he reached slowly for his knife. “You pnning on pinning that on me?”

  I couldn’t help but ugh. Grub was too clean for that. “You? I’d have a better shot of pinning health and safety viotions on you.”

  He watched me like a hunting griffin, only he’d end me faster than I could blink. Frankly, I’d rather take on a griffin. He let out a ugh and rexed. “Washed up orc, huh? Yeah, I heard about that. Heard he was diced up by the necromancer.”

  “He was. Only the head was left. Any ideas who would order the hit?”

  “I always have ideas, Johnny. You know that. This time, though, I got nothing for you except a warm pte of food.”

  I gave him a smile and tapped his shoulder. “That works for me.” He turned to fetch a gss of water. “One more thing, Grub. Ever seen a symbol with a dragon’s eye in a circle?”

  He polished the water, burped, and leaned on the counter as the rain hammered the tin roof. “Dragon’s eye? Can’t say I have. Why?”

  “Curious thing, that. It was branded on the orc.” He looked confused and rubbed his chin. I started on my burger. I could feel the food chatting with the other boys. Told them to take it easy. They listened. “Grub?”

  “Yeah?”

  He was still rubbing his chin and staring at the rain outside. “You think Fang might brand a body?”

  “Fang? Angmar’s pipsqueak brother?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “Who knows? The guy’s a total wack. Wanted to hire me a few weeks ago. Needed some business taken care of, if you know what I mean?”

  “A hit.”

  He shot me another look and pointed to his nose. “A boy. No bigger than a dwarf. Saw Fang torture and kill a female gnome over some money.”

  I had heard about that case. No witness and no evidence. The scene was spotless. “You do it?” This time I shot him a look. He smirked at me; I must not have pulled it off.

  “Johnny. You know I love kids. I used to be one, but he didn’t know I loved kids, so I said to him.” He leaned closer to me, and his voice dropped to a tone that would scare the crap out of me in a dark alley. “I find out that that boy is dead, and I’ll send you to keep him company.”

  Yeah, sounds like something Grub would say. Not one to take lightly. He still had eyes, ears, and hands everywhere in the realm, all of them ready to kill. Not even Fang and his boys would look for trouble with Grub’s boys.

  I nodded at him and continued to enjoy my meal as an elf walked in. Shady fellow. Wore a brown leather coat. Bear hide. He took a seat near the door and checked his watch. Only one other customer was in the eatery. Female, fairy, dressed in scanty clothing and covered in makeup. She sat nursing a drink while counting copper coins.

  The elf kept checking his watch and looking at the door behind him. Grub didn’t seem to care. He wiped the counter, some gsses, and a few pans. I had just finished my burger and got to work interrogating the fries when an ogre walked in. Had a skull tattoo on the side of his head and a big scar on his face. He sat down opposite the elf.

  The rain was hitting the roof too hard. Couldn’t hear a thing they were saying. I watched while munching my fries; nothing better to do, and Grub seemed too busy cleaning to chat. The big ogre seemed to get irritated at the elf who kept looking at the door. The ogre probably wasn’t his guest.

  I looked away for a second to find another fry when I heard the bang, and by the time I had looked back, Grub was there. Bnk expression, on the ogre’s back with a bde at his throat. He whispered something into his ear and moved the bde just enough to draw blood. The elf stumbled out into the rain and took off down the alley. The ogre nodded slowly and dropped a few coins on the table as Grub jumped off him.

  He left without a fuss. I shrugged at Grub. The bastard just put his finger over his lips and pocketed the coins. The fairy didn’t even budge. Not even a gnce. Tough dy. Or just used to it.

  “What was that about, Grub?” I didn’t expect an answer.

  “Don’t worry about it. Just a little bit of bad manners.” He took a seat next to me. “Every now and then I gotta teach some manners to a few upstarts who think they can come in here and cause problems.”

  I thought I’d just let him talk; I always enjoyed his stories. I finished my fries while he spoke.

  “I don’t refuse to serve anyone, Johnny. Scum or the w. Anyone is welcome, but I won’t tolerate rude behavior.” He smacked me on the back. “That’s why I love you, Johnny. Always ready to listen to me talk, pay for your meal, and most importantly. You treat me with respect.”

  “We go back a ways, you and I. Besides, I learned long ago that if a killer chooses not to kill you, you can trust him.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Trust the evil you know, Grub.” I stood up, patted him on the shoulder, and paid for my meal. “Thanks for the chat. It helped.”

  “Anytime, detective.” I opened the door; he stopped just before I walked out. “Oh, and if I hear anything about the orc hit, I’ll let you know.”

  “Appreciate it, Grub. Take care.”

  The smell of rain was a welcomed change that my nose thanked me for. My body wasn’t so impressed by getting soaked by the cold rain. I lifted my jacket over my head and made my way down the alley and into the street. It was still. A few people hid to get away from the rain. It started to come down harder, so I ducked under a balcony to wait it out. Always loved the rain.

  I couldn’t enjoy it, though. I had work to do. Track down the rat and have a chat. If anyone will know how to get in touch with Fang, it’s him. He might even have some info on the hit. Doesn’t matter what angle I look at it from. It just doesn’t feel like Fang. Maybe he was in a hurry and got sloppy? The rain decided to give me a break and ease up for a moment. I took the opportunity and left. I headed for the local club to find the rat. A pce called Orcish Delight. If he were anywhere, it would be there. Pce was well known for hookups. Didn’t matter the race. If you went there looking, you’d come out with someone.

  The rain finally called it a day and went home for some much-needed rest and took the boys in my belly with her. I stood outside the club. Found a cozy pce in the alley overlooking the entrance. If the rat showed up or left, I’d know.

  I’d been in the alley for a long time. The sun was beginning to set. Saw plenty of people come and go. Goblin with an ogre. An elf with a halfling. Human with a troll. The night would be very loud, and a few neighbors would be upset. But still no sign of the rat. I began to think he might not show. It isn’t hard to miss a ratman. Especially Rat. Hairless, skinny, wears rags, and has a long tail. He showed up just as the daylight went to sleep and the night woke up.

  He walked out of the club and looked right at me and winked. I froze for a second and then looked behind me. All I remember is the pnk getting bigger really fast and then waking up with one hell of a headache. The rat greeted me with a smile, surrounded by a few hired thugs. “Good evening, detective.”

  I sat up and rubbed my forehead. There was a lump. I could feel the wood grain. Pine. “Rat.”

  “Come now, detective. I think, given the circumstances, you should address me as Mr. Rat.”

  He seemed pretty pleased with himself. The guy who whacked me is probably the elf leaning against the wall. He’s the only one with a pnk. Pine. I counted three, including Rat. Two orcs stood behind him. “Nah, you don’t look like a mister. More like a gutter rat, with mange.”

  “Think you’re funny? I got you outnumbered, detective.”

  “You do. The question is why? You sell information and I want to buy.”

  “Heard you was looking for me. But you didn’t pitch. My network tracked you all over. I get nervous when a guy like you wants to see me and doesn’t visit. In this city, that can only mean one thing.”

  “A hit.”

  He snapped his bony fingers at me and leaned in close. “Exactly.” I wonder when he brushed his teeth st. “You ain’t gonna off me, detective.”

  “Rat. We really have to do something about your paranoia. You know I ain’t a hitman. You also know that no one would off you.” I wasn’t buttering him up. No one would kill him. Too risky. He knows too much, but not the kind that could get you into trouble. The kind that would be a loss to you.

  “Sorry, detective. I can’t take that chance, what with that dead orc and the council sneaking about. Worse than the rats, that lot.”

  “What do you know about that? The orc hit. Fang’s work?” I could tell the thugs were getting antsy. They wanted blood.

  “I don’t know much. Only that it’s not Fang’s work, as you put it. Didn’t stop the council pinning it on him, did it?" He looked at the thugs, then back to me. “Time’s up, detective.”

  He ordered the thugs onto me. One pulled a knife. I hate weapons. I dodged the elf’s swing and kicked him into the orcs. They fell over. I turned to run down the alley but was cut off by another one. Ogre with a skull tattoo on his head. I looked back at Rat to say something when we all heard the sound. The shing sound of a bde on stone. Rat looked like he’d just seen a ghost and died inside.

  Then a voice whispered from the shadows. Not words. It sounded like a chant in a strange nguage. Then it happened. I heard a thud behind me and turned to look. The ogre looked shorter. Then I noticed something rolling to a stop. It had a skull tattoo. A scream came from the elf this time. I spun just in time to see blood spraying from his open neck. Rat was now as white as a well-used sheet. The orcs took one look at him and ran past me down the alley. A moment ter their gurgled screams were cut short by another shing.

  I closed my eyes and waited for cold steel to carry me into the afterlife when I heard a familiar voice. “You got a death wish, Johnny?”

  “Not yet. Just wanted some information on that dead orc.”

  Rat looked up at Grub and pissed himself. “I thought you retired?”

  “I did. You went after one of my regurs. That’s bad for business, Rat. You know that.”

  He had no time to respond when Grub whistled loudly. All the shadows in the area moved into the light. Grub’s boys. He gave them the order, and they immediately grabbed the corpses and vanished. “Grub. Stop creating more work for me, please.”

  He shrugged. “Give and take, Johnny. I give you work and take your coins when you eat my food. Every body wins.”

  "Everybody, huh? What about the dead guys?” He ignored me. Same as always. “Rat, can you tell me anything about the orc? Who would want him dead and why?”

  He looked at me and spat at my shoes. Nasty habit he’s got. “You know the rules, detective.”

  “Yeah.” I reached into my pocket, pulled out some silver coins, and tossed them at him. “The rates still the same?”

  “They are.” He counted the coins while gncing at Grub every now and then. “Ok, all here. Onto your question. I got nothing. No chatter anywhere on the hit. I got no why, who, how, or when. But I do know this. Fang doesn’t leave bodies out in the open like that. But I’m sure you already know that. Right, detective?”

  I ignored him. He was right. If Rat has no information on the hit, it means it came from either high up or outside the city. My gut says the council had something to do with it. “Rat. Can you get information on any council dealings in the past week?”

  “Rules, detective.” Dammit. I tossed him a gold coin. “Come see me again. I’ll have something for you. Probably.”

  And just like that, he slinked out of the alley. Grub had vanished at some point as well. I hadn’t even noticed. All he left was a bde on the floor with a note that read, “Use it.” I stuffed it into my jacket. I really don’t like weapons.