Chapter 35, Roberts

  Harken pats me hard on the back. “Kick—ing us out allll—rdy?” he slurs, gripping my shoulder to steady himself.

  I lower my stance to keep us both from toppling over. “Hark—” I grunt.

  “Let’s take this to the galley, I’ll make coffee.” Sonya says, her arm around Jake as they walk through my cabin toward the door.

  Quill takes Harken’s elbow and gently peels him off me, then she and Manee each take one of his arms and prop him upright, his head lolling as he mutters. “...Hellcat” He hiccups. “Rul’d the endlssss ssssea.”

  The three of them are almost through the door when Harken’s head flops to the side and he lurches free of his attendants to turn and face me. “Dar,” he says.

  “Yes?” I ask.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Hark.”

  “You’re my best—” he blinks. “Mate.”

  “No more rum for you tonight.” I say to him, then to Manee. “I owe you one.”

  “Right, right.” Manee grumbles as they hoist Harken’s arm over their shoulder, dragging him out with more force. “For gods’ sake Harken, move your legs. Let’s go.”

  Quill pauses at the door, glancing at me, then Sarah, and back again, a mischievous grin unabashed on her face. I set my jaw and raise my brows. Quill leaves, and finally it’s just Sarah standing between me and the open door.

  Candlelight flickers across her face, but instead of the usual flecks of gold in her hazel eyes, they’re dark, her pupils blown wide. She opens her mouth, but instead of speaking she just looks at me with heavy eyelids. I take a step closer to her, listening as the voices fade out down the companionway.

  Sarah is within arm’s reach, her brow taut and shoulders pinned back with painstaking composure. But her soft panting is plain to see. And that’s what makes me take the final step.

  She flinches just slightly when I brush against her, reaching over her shoulder to shove the door closed. When I’m this close, she has to look up at me. But I can’t hold her gaze. My eyes drift to her mouth, tracing the soft curves of her lips.

  The world around us starts to fade, and there’s only her, drawing me in with each breath.

  I reach for the waistband of her trousers, tugging her hips to bump into mine. My pulse kicks up, and my skin starts to buzz all over. Her mouth, I want her mouth. If I just leaned my head down a few inches, I could take it. But I resist. Instead, I slide my other hand past her waist and press my palm into her back.

  She gasps softly as I pull her chest against mine. The warmth of her, the sound of her breath, sends a shiver up my spine. Her hands find my shoulders, hesitant at first. Then her touch trails upward, brushing away a few stray locks and sliding her hands under my hair. Chills crawl down my arms as she traces the back of my neck with her fingertips.

  “Do you have any idea what you do to me, Sarah?” I ask, searching her eyes for an answer.

  My heart pounds like a battering ram, threatening to break through my chest as I lean in, leaving just a breath of space for her to meet me there. All I can see are her eyes. Black, fathomless, and unblinking.

  Then she moves. Our parted lips converge with a featherlight touch and we float there, soft skin brushing against soft skin, sharing the same air. My resolve is draining from my veins as I wait, drowning in the seconds that pass before she presses in again, deepening the kiss. A quiet moan vibrates in her throat as I slide my tongue over her lower lip. Heat builds in my low belly, and I grip at her clothes, pulling her closer, pushing against her. Anything to be closer.

  My tongue finds hers, stroking deep, twisting, reaching for more until she opens for me. She does, and my legs tremble. Tilting her head back, she opens her mouth, returning my strokes with delicate slides of her tongue. Each glide feeds the molten lava boiling up inside, a heat that beckons me to lose control.

  I step forward, bumping her hips with mine, and she steps back, our heads tilting as our lips find each other again.

  Taking her bottom lip in my teeth, I bite down until she moans, then bite harder until she gasps. Another step forward and I’ve got her back against the door. I press against her and shudder as the warmth in my core spreads lower.

  I’m desperate to feel more of her, to finally have all of her but there’s another blaring alarm that’s telling me to slow down. She spent our youth teasing me, drawing me close only to discard me. Now that she’s finally giving in, it feels too fast, too simple.

  My fingers threaded in her hair, I take a fistful and pull her head to the side, exposing her neck and planting a string of soft kisses.

  Her skin is warm, glistening like the damp that comes before breaking a sweat. I retrace the trail of kisses with my tongue, tasting the salt on her skin, extracting tiny whimpers along the way.

  You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

  My tongue presses firm, deep licks into the soft place beneath her chin. I suck at her throat, drawing out her whines, feeding on them.

  “Roberts,” she murmurs.

  “Sarah?” I ask, more to myself than to her. Is this really happening?

  Unweaving my fingers from her hair I cup her cheek in my hand and raise her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes are dark and swirling like a whirlpool, sucking me in. My stomach tightens, the pressure inside me building.

  She pulls her head off the door, reaching for my mouth with hers. Our open lips meet and this time her tongue finds mine with fevered, frantic strokes.

  My whole body quivers as I slot my lips with hers and let her take control. It doesn’t take long before I start to lose myself completely, the thud of my pulse is between my legs and it’s incessant. Impossible to ignore.

  I nudge her foot and she steps wider, then step one leg between hers and roll my hips until we both have a place to press against. Her knees buckle and her weight settles into me, heat soaking through layers of fabric.

  She sighs into my mouth as I thrust harder into her, then again, and again. Letting the rhythm carry me closer to being undone. And I want so badly to let the tension unravel, just like this, the way we are now. But I want to see all of her first, taste all of her. I want it enough to rein myself in, no matter how excruciating it is to hold back.

  “S—arah,” I stutter against her mouth, “I want—” My fingers fumble with the drawstring on her trousers, kissing her chin, her jaw. “Let me taste you.”

  The knot comes free and I slip my fingers just inside, feeling the warmth of the skin on her belly. She twitches and suddenly all of my limbs feel heavy, like I’m melting against her. I reach lower aching with anticipation of what I’ll find.

  Another inch, her stomach flutters. Then her hand covers mine, trapping me there. I try to slide my hand free but her body goes rigid. I freeze. A muffled siren sounds in the back of my mind and I wince, bracing for the blow.

  “No.” Her word rips through me like a chain-shot to the chest.

  I know what to do, but my body is too wracked to obey me. All I can feel is the gaping, bleeding hole in my chest.

  I grit my teeth to stifle the groan as I tear myself away from her. It’s the right thing to do, the only thing to do. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t agonizing.

  The fog lifts and a wave of guilt washes over me. The back of my neck flashes hot with shame.

  Dragging my palms over my face I suck in a breath and blow it out. “Sarah, I’m sorry.”

  Sarah averts her gaze, lip quivering as she folds her arms and sinks to the floor.

  My mind races. What should I do? Give her space. I turn and pace, three steps away. No, stupid. Ask her what she needs. Three steps back. “Is there anything I can do…to help?”

  She’s curled into a tight ball, shrinking in on herself. “No.”

  “What’s wrong? I mean, what did I…” do?

  “Nothing,” she says, quietly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Sarah stands, wiping her cheeks. She pulls the drawstring on her trousers, hands shaking as she secures the tie, then reaches for the door.

  “Wait. Please don’t go. Can we just talk?” I plead. “I promise I won’t touch you again. Not like that. Not at all if that’s what you want.” I stammer.

  She hesitates, then turns to face me. Tears stream silently down her face.

  “I would never hurt you, Sarah. You know that, right? And I don’t— I couldn’t stand it if anything came between us.”

  Sarah’s chest rises, her breath hitching as she inhales. Then she walks towards me, but it’s more like she’s tumbling. She falls into me with a ragged exhale and I instinctively throw my arms out wide.

  She wraps her arms around me but still I don’t move. Until, voice shaking, she says, “Will you hold me?”

  As slowly and gently as I can manage, I rest my arms on her upper back. As soon as I touch her she sobs into my shirt. I flinch pulling my arms away but she hugs me tighter and sobs louder.

  “Shh, it’s alright. You’re safe,” I whisper.

  Staring at the ceiling I wonder what could have happened to her, who I’ll have to kill for this.

  Her breathing slows, but still she clings to me, her tears soaking my shirt.

  I open my mouth to speak, then close it. She’s already told me what she wants. So I do that, hold her until she tells me otherwise, let the rocking of the ship comfort us both.

  The candle on the table beside us goes out, a wisp of smoke curling around us. Sarah stirs, sniffling as she shifts her weight.

  “Thank you,” she says, letting go of me.

  I release her, careful not to let my hands brush against her as she steps back. “Do you want to talk? About anything, I mean. It doesn’t have to be about—” I wince. “I mean I just thought maybe something to take your mind off it?”

  Sarah manages a faint smile. “Talking sounds nice,” she says.

  “Here,” I say, hastily arranging the cushions on the narrow couch against the wall.

  A knock at the door.

  I fish for my pocket watch and check the time. “This will just be a minute, make yourself comfortable.”

  Opening the door just a sliver, I slip out, closing it behind me.

  “Company?” Adler smirks. “Guess some things never change.”

  I stare at her blankly, refusing to engage.

  She scoffs. “Take a joke, will you?”

  “Give me the report I asked for, or I’ll have you replaced,” I say, flatly.

  Adler’s mouth opens and stays that way, utterly nonplussed.

  “Anyday now.”

  Then she finally spits it out. “Serpents Cradle is holding our wind and following close. Both vessels are making good time; we should reach Sanctum by midday. Shift change went smoothly, and the new hands are under close watch.”

  “Thank you.” I crack open the door and sidle through.

  Just as the door is closing, Adler calls out sarcastically, “Goodnight to you too!”

  I sigh, digging my thumbs into my temples, then look over at the couch.

  Sarah is leaned up against the assorted cushions, her cheek mashed against her hand, eyes shut. Her chest is rising and falling with the peaceful labor of deep sleep.

  I smile, then step quietly towards my bed, careful not to wake her. My limbs feel like lead, heavy with grief, and my head is twisted with confusion. But knowing she’s here with me, at least for tonight, eases that burden just a little.