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Chapter 24 - Forcing Emotions

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  Epos (Maltia)

  5 November 2355

  Ethan’s 15th day on Tersain

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  Although she hasn’t admitted it to anyone, Ehliana is rather frustrated about the whole Ethan affair. Out of nowhere, he turned up on the Epos, attracting Archeos’s attention and starting to reel off a series of confused, incomplete… and totally innovative notions. The philosophers on board talk about him a great deal, but none of them actually has any idea who he really is.

  The young man has been extremely vague about his origins, and so has Aimond Lacelet. And yet, the crew has been asked to give him plenty of credit.

  Ehliana considers herself an intelligent person, and she has always been rewarded for her diligence and ability, which have earned her Archeos’s complete trust and much of his attention. Now, however, she feels as if those achievements have been somewhat diminished.

  Almost as if that boy had stolen them from her. And the fact is, much as she hates to admit it… it irritates her.

  That’s why she’s focused on other things, and has involuntarily kept her distance from him. She doesn’t like the negative feelings she experiences in his presence, or when someone mentions his name.

  But every now and then, it’s been inevitable that she’d hear the philosophers talk about him. And on those occasions, she’s kept asking herself… who is he? Why does there seem to be something odd about him? The whole thing stinks, and her intuition tells her that something is being kept from her.

  Now, in the room Archeos has appropriated for himself, she has the proof before her eyes.

  All right… just this once, let’s bend the rules, she thinks, as she reads the contents of the document she’s found on the old man’s desk. Hm?

  She frowns. Then, she studies the premises at the top of the page more carefully.

  Wait… his knowledge could be connected to the Star Prophets? But in what sense?

  Line after line, her eyes continue to scan the text. And at a certain point… her gaze lifts from the page, losing itself in space.

  This is because her mind has started to wander, jumping from what she has just discovered to what she already knew about the young man.

  The memory resurfaces of the time she spoke to him, in the laboratory where the antibiotic is produced.

  At times, he seemed completely ignorant… stupid, she reflects. I couldn’t understand it. It was as if even his incredible knowledge was stolen. But that time, in particular, it seemed to me that he… wasn’t the fool he appeared to be.

  The feeling she’d had then was very strange. As if something, in the way the boy spoke, and in the thoughts he had let slip… had sounded far too in tune with the woman’s own way of seeing things.

  And not in a superficial way, as happens much more often with other people.

  This made it all the more annoying… it’s as if he – who is also younger than her, even if only by a couple of years! – had invaded an invisible territory that until now had been the philosopher’s exclusive domain. An unprecedented event that makes her feel truly uncomfortable, both because her space… her role… or perhaps her uniqueness as a person has somehow been violated… and because she hates the fact that she resents someone for such a reason.

  She’s ashamed of it.

  “Ah… damn, you’ve found the wrong thing.”

  The woman starts at the sound of that voice. Then, she whirls round at once. She hadn’t noticed at all… but Archeos has entered the room, and now he’s right beside her.

  “… master,” she hesitates, realising she’s been caught red-handed.

  Damn me, she curses herself meanwhile. When I get lost in thought, I really have no idea what’s going on around me.

  “It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter…” he raises a hand, not appearing angry. “My fault. Just… don’t go telling anyone, all right?”

  “… is what it says here true?” the philosopher asks him. “Ethan Knight… claims to come from another world?”

  “Ah, yes… didn’t you know? That part isn’t a secret,” the man replies. “Word’s got around by now.”

  Ehliana hasn’t heard that rumour. Perhaps because she’s not very interested in gossip, and in any case doesn’t go in for much chit-chat.

  “It’s the rest that’s best kept hidden for the moment… all the business about the Star Prophets, you see what I mean?” the old man goes on.

  But she is only half listening to him. Not out of lack of interest, but because her mind has already sunk deep into analysis.

  Coming from another world? How absurd. But in the text—a report written by Archeos—the philosopher admits that the boy acts in a way consistent with his claims… with no sign of madness.

  And the woman can’t help thinking of what she sensed from Ethan’s mind, when she spoke to him in the penicillin laboratory. Not a fool… not a madman. But still someone with a peculiar way of thinking… and who tells an improbable story.

  Is there something I’m missing?

  A slight pang tightens her stomach. There it is again: a negative emotion. The irritation of not understanding something… something that seems to have taken away, without her knowing how, part of the space she’s earned for herself.

  I want to know more.

  Inside, she feels hostility and a need to compete with that boy rising up. Then, suddenly… those emotions vanish. Because once again, she remembers that time she had dealings with him… and how he hadn’t seemed at all inclined to start a conflict with her.

  Ehliana hates interpersonal conflicts. She hates the tension that seems to seep from them… and all the negative emotions that come from it, though she’s willing to bear it if given no choice.

  If Ethan Knight doesn’t want that, does it really make sense to see him as an enemy? More than an invasion… couldn’t his presence, instead, be seen as an unexpected visit to a place where she had always believed herself to be alone?

  Perhaps… it’s an opportunity? Perhaps… I should try to get closer to him… and understand him better?

  “Archeos!”

  Suddenly, a man bursts onto the threshold of the room. The philosopher turns to look at him.

  “The expedition has returned!” the newcomer exclaims. “But there are wounded!”

  “… what?!” blurts the old man.

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  The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

  Epos (Maltia)

  6 November 2355

  Ethan’s 16th day on Tersain

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  When, after the medical examination is over, Ethan leaves the iatreion, Ehliana watches him as he disappears beyond the threshold. Meanwhile…

  I understand, she thinks. He’s still unaware.

  At first, she was confused by observing that boy, but now that she’s had dealings with him again, things have become clearer to her. All the more so because she didn’t come unprepared: after failing to make contact with him yesterday when she treated him, she carried out her own investigations in the laboratories of the Epos, asking the other philosophers to show her what they’re working on with Ethan.

  And the idea she’s formed by doing so has now taken on a comprehensible shape.

  When I was his age, two or three years ago, I think I was much more self-aware, but perhaps he’s had experiences… completely different from mine. That’s why he still comes across as an “uncertain” person.

  But from the work the young man is doing, one can see how contact with Archeos and the philosophers is bringing out new sides to him. The prospects for his growth are… worth keeping an eye on.

  Just like his resilience.

  He doesn’t seem to see himself as very strong, but… he has no idea of the mental state many are in when they return from their first “violent” missions. His ability to withstand stress has been more than good.

  This is a strength… but also a vulnerability, if he’s relying on methods that force him to bottle up his discomfort without letting it out. And how he’ll react to the pressure remains to be seen. In the meantime, though… Ehliana might find herself in a position to observe that process.

  A smile escapes her as she thinks of some documents drafted by Ethan that they showed her in the laboratories… and of the sheet the boy has just handed her.

  Perhaps he doesn’t see himself as a meticulous person… but judging by what she’s seeing, he might well end up becoming one. The collection of diagrams and tables of topics, which he seems to have carefully put together just to present her with his proposal, is proof of that.

  In all this, Ehliana now feels more at ease. He seems neither a threat nor a dangerous mystery. Although there’s still much she doesn’t understand about that boy… from now on, she won’t need to be excessively on her guard around him.

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  Epos (Maltia)

  11 November 2355

  Ethan’s 21st day on Tersain

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  A few days go by. Once it was confirmed that I was in good enough shape, I went back to working with the philosophers, though I notice that Archeos hasn’t been making many appearances. The man is probably busy with the Star Prophets’ artefact. That… people, although for some reason they decided to leave the key to reading the map out in plain sight, didn’t make the latter at all easy to interpret.

  In fact, I suspect the rebels are hiding a lot of information from me on the subject. But I’m not particularly bothered about it. After all, my position on board is still uncertain, and besides, it’s a topic I believe they’re very reserved about even among themselves.

  There’s something new in my routine: every afternoon Dawn drags me off to practise my fighting skills. She wasn’t joking when she suggested it, and I’m desperate! I don’t want to say no to the girl, but I find fighting quite annoying. What’s more, when I used to do taekwondo I hated sparring with girls, partly because they were often more aggressive than the boys, and partly because I never knew where to hit them without feeling embarrassed.

  Dawn, moreover, is a real beast: she’s good at fighting with a staff, and never misses an opportunity to cover me in bruises. Even though the pains from the velivus accident have gone, she’s more than happy to replace them with new afflictions.

  I regret not learning how to defend myself against people armed with a club.

  One morning, almost a week after the mission, Archeos suddenly bursts into my cabin.

  “Come to the third laboratory today,” he tells me. “It’s time to start resolving your doubts.”

  “Erm… which of the many?” I ask.

  “The ones concerning your mayea.”

  After breakfast, I meet the old man where I was told to.

  “And the map?” I ask.

  “We have a possible destination,” Archeos replies. “That’s why I want to devote some time to you. It’s likely you’ll be taking part in an expedition.”

  “Again? Why?”

  “For the same reasons as last time: we need a philosopher, or someone similar, used to dealing with ‘unusual’ technologies. And besides, you’re already involved… rather than informing more people, we might as well use you directly.”

  “And what does my… mayea have to do with all this?”

  “If there are any mishaps, you might need it, mightn’t you?”

  “I’m not sure…”

  “I don’t want to hear any fuss or whining,” the old man cuts me off. “If you want to survive in war, you can’t afford to make a problem out of doing what needs to be done. You’ve had a bit of time to recover. Now learn from experience, so you won’t be too shocked if you ever have to defend yourself again.”

  It seems to me that Archeos is stricter than usual. Is he stressed? Or perhaps he doesn’t like this business with the expeditions? He doesn’t seem to be in the right mood for me to ask him.

  The man takes a candle and places it on a table. Once he’s lit it, he points to it and says:

  “Move the flame.”

  “I’ve already tried with Dawn,” I reply. “It didn’t budge an inch.”

  “You practically shifted a wave of fire,” says the philosopher. “Or so I’ve been told. Is it possible that a simple little flame…?”

  This time it’s my turn to interrupt him.

  “Apparently, I was inspired,” I suggest. “Pain, or being in danger, perhaps, got me moving. Adrenaline does that sort of thing… though usually it doesn’t make flames move.”

  “So you need inspiration,” the man remarks. “Well, mayea does require that sort of thing, but I’d rather not have to hang you overboard.”

  “I’d appreciate that too.”

  “So…”

  There’s a knock at the door. Archeos breaks off to go and answer it. He opens it a crack, smiles, and says:

  “You’ve arrived just when I needed you!”

  He steps aside, and Dawn enters the room.

  “Oh!” we both say, surprised to see each other.

  “I’ve called you to help me coax Ethan’s mayea out,” announces the old man.

  “Mayea?” the girl repeats. “You don’t mean what he did the other day, do you? Because that wasn’t mayea.”

  “My dear, that’s what you think, but you mustn’t get stuck on dogma: you may not have seen the symbols of the universe, but what you described is certainly closer to mayea than to any otherwise explainable phenomenon. Let’s treat it as such.”

  The rebel seems to have a retort ready, but in the end says nothing. For my part, I watch the scene anxiously, wondering how the Maltian girl is supposed to draw out my mayea.

  “Right, Dawn…” Archeos begins. “We’ll try several approaches. First of all, let’s follow a good suggestion Ethan gave me: provoke a strong emotion in him.”

  She and I exchange glances, then both blush. Damn… we both thought of something very embarrassing, didn’t we? So, even though she doesn’t seem to pay attention to these things, she’s inclined to think of them too.

  “I…” the girl says awkwardly, “I’d try getting him to visualise some symbols of the universe. Maybe fire and ilectron…”

  “That sort of thing later,” the old man refuses. “I repeat: a strong emotion. You can use a symbol to stimulate him, can’t you?”

  “I can… try,” the girl replies. “But it’s not a kind of symbol I’m used to using. It’ll take a while… mind-influence mayea is complicated.”

  “Take all the time you need.”

  Archeos moves over to a chair and sits down to watch us. Dawn sighs, then takes a few steps to stand directly in front of me.

  “It’s best if you don’t resist, or it’ll all be much more difficult,” she warns me. “I’m going to make you feel fear.”

  Then she places her hands on my temples. I have to make an effort to push away the discomfort caused by the philosopher’s unfortunate choice of words, which now risks being amplified.

  “Focus on the candle, Ethan,” says Archeos.

  Dawn closes her eyes. Several minutes pass without anything happening. I keep trying to suppress the embarrassment the situation is causing me. At the same time, though, as I look at her relaxed face, I can’t help but think… she’s very pretty.

  These aren’t thoughts I usually dwell on. But now that she’s right here in front of me, and my mind is mostly free from other distractions, I’m more inclined to notice such things.

  While I observe that she’s no longer wearing the bandage on her head, and that the wound she got on the day of the expedition is healing… suddenly, I see a pale pink symbol flicker on the Maltian girl’s forehead: a sort of triangle with the point facing downwards. As the figure becomes clearer, I start to feel a different kind of discomfort. That sensation grows, as an irrational fear takes hold of me. I need to focus on the candle, but I end up staring fixedly at the symbol on Dawn’s forehead.

  A little dot appears in the centre of the triangle… like a pupil. Then, what I feel turns into terror. A terror I can’t resist.

  I hear Archeos calling me, but I don’t listen. I break free from the girl’s grip, and she opens her eyes.

  Just like that, the fear vanishes. And so does the symbol on her forehead.

  “It’s no good,” says the old man, while I retreat, gasping, into a corner of the room, my heart pounding wildly. “If the emotion stops you from concentrating, it’s pointless. Dawn, you should try anger.”

  “No,” she refuses. “I don’t like this method. And I’m certainly not going to make him feel irrational anger.”

  Her tone is so firm that Archeos doesn’t reply. The girl goes on, resolute:

  “I’ll help him, but in my own way. Ethan…”

  And she grabs my hand, leading me out. The philosopher still says nothing. As for me, I don’t resist, and find myself in the corridor with the rebel girl. She leads me to the portholes on one side of the vessel. There she turns to look at me.

  Everything has happened so quickly that I’m struggling to keep up. For a moment, I look at her wide-eyed, instinctively afraid of seeing in her once more the source of the fear from just now. But that emotion soon passes.

  “I said that, but I don’t think your abilities should be forced,” Dawn says. “They manifested themselves in extreme circumstances. Trying to recreate conditions like that is madness, and you don’t need your brain scrambled any more than events have already done.”

  I’m surprised, but also grateful for such consideration. I’d like to say so, but I can’t find the words. Then I realise I’m still holding the girl’s hand. I try to let go, but I can’t. In fact, she tightens her grip.

  “You said you’d help free my father, didn’t you?” she goes on. “Good, but we’ll take it one step at a time. Neither of us is anywhere near ready to take part in a rescue mission. But it seems they mean to prepare us: otherwise, the captain wouldn’t have sent us on the last expedition, or assigned us to the next one.”

  “The next one? The one Archeos speculated about?”

  “It’s more than just a speculation: they confirmed it to me a short while ago,” the rebel says. “They’re sending us where Energheia might be. We leave the day after tomorrow.”

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