At first, I began to count my days. Seeing how long I will last to that meadow. I could see sunlight falling from the sky and falling to the ground. Next to me, there was a basket. I learnt soon that I had to pick every thread and place it back in the basket. The threads were harsh, strong as they stuck so deep to the ground. But before the sun had fallen, I could now show the fruits of my labor. Until the night appeared, and the threads were now gone.

  So, a new morning arrived, and it happened again.

  I could remember a few things about myself. That I was a god. A god of light, music, and healing. That I had a family that was waiting for me.

  And…

  Who was that girl who was crying to her knees?

  It did not matter. I had to keep working. A few centuries passed, and I got used to seeing the threads vanish at night. Maybe they were actually useful below. I did not care if my hands were hurting, I did not care if my brow was being roasted from the sun. Because there was a purpose in that action. Maybe that was the point of taking them, and they had to move above.

  That was their journey, I thought. That was the reason I had to keep working.

  And so, my punishment had changed. Out of the ground, where the sunlights were falling, they began to get even deeper so they could hide from me. But soon after, a pair of bones were getting out. To my horror, I tried to turn my back, preparing myself for everything.

  ‘’Apollo?’’ A woman spoke out, and right behind me, there she was. Blissful and happy with her bronze body being dressed in a beautiful green dress. Her curls were let down, covering half of her wounded face, but her smile was still visible.

  She began to rush into my arms. And I was about to embrace her. I wanted to embrace her.

  But with that, with one simple embrace, the woman screamed.

  ‘’You are hurting me.’’She cried. ‘’Make it stop’’

  Frightened as I was, I tried to let her go, and with my own two eyes, I could see her body slowly melting. For one moment, she was frightened, but she was still trying to embrace me.

  ‘’Apollo’’She began to crawl to the ground with her melting skin dripping to the floor. Her bones appear down to her flesh, her eyes popping, and her hair falling apart. Her beautiful curls falling from her sharp scalp. I tried to back away, but each step was making her even worse. Until she ended up as dust, for only her bones to remain.

  And suddenly, another woman appeared. She was exactly like the one before with a happy face. She tried to hold me again, but I shouted that she should stay back. She did not listen to me, and she embraced my hand. Soon, she began to melt again, but she was crawling to my skin. My chest began to tighten up, begging everything to stop.

  ‘’Get away from me’’I screamed and grabbed her by the head, pushing her to the ground.

  And so, that was my new punishment. The meadow that was once filled with sunthreads and light, it was now surrounded by bones and blood. How many years has it been? Who was the woman who was watching me from afar and was trying to walk closer to me?

  She spoke a name. Apollo. But I didn’t know who that man was. Maybe it was me? I didn’t know anymore. I did not care. I told her to stay back, and she surprisingly agreed. So, I watched her. I watched her standing still and grow older and older. Until her dark hair turned silver, her raisin face formed a final smile. And with a blink of an eye, a corpse appeared once again.

  I looked at the bones around me, and I thought of what a waist they were to the ground. Whom do they belong to again? What was the name of that woman who was once again following me?

  Did not matter, as I was now taking the bones and looking in front of me, the image that I wanted to build.

  ***

  The world that I was in, the countries that I stayed in, were facing me as if I were a statue, looking at the time passing with the blink of an eye. There was life and love in front of my gaze. But there was also death and violence. I became a healer to help people. But I also became a warrior to prevent more violence. How foolish I was! People were marching on me, with their blades, and their eyes were welcoming me with terror. How many people did I see who were praying to their gods for help? How many cries did I stop with my own dagger? I wanted it to stop. Because in my sleep, I could still see that little girl with wounds on her face, praying to her own god.

  I didn’t want to do it. Or maybe I liked it. Maybe I hated myself for loving it.

  I tried to search for love once again. I really tried to. But there was nothing there to be found, rather than a pitch black of nothingness. Every time, when my eye was facing the stars and the moon, I could feel a warm touch caressing my back. Whispering sweet nothings to my ear. Who was that man?

  I wanted to protect people. For them to live the rest of their lives in bliss and harmony. Because I couldn’t do it. I knew that the day those men came for me in that cold temple. Was I foolish to believe I could ever be happy?

  But what if I could be? What would I want for my own happiness?

  I stood there in an open valley, near a farm in a country whose name I have forgotten its name, living with people whose faces had become blurred. Women were preparing their warm welcome for their husbands after a harsh hunt. The men started giving offerings to their own gods while children were playing with the warriors and beasts. But as I was watching them play, I couldn’t understand which one was which. And still, everyone was at peace while my hands were stained red.

  Even if I cared about them, even if I loved them, I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to feel love and peace in a valley of my own. Having a family for people to remember me. I wanted to be remembered even if I had a chance to bury myself to the ground.

  I wanted to feel love. I wanted to be loved. On my feet now, there was a small red fox cub with the hunters of the valley, moving closer to me with their blades. I commanded them to stop, and I held the fox tight in my arms.

  Telling them that it was alright, and I would treat it myself. Such a beautiful crimson fur he had. His eyes looked at me with naivety. My dog was facing it with disbelief as I tried to wash his body from all the dirt, and I noticed that there was a broken leg of his.

  I wondered if I could keep it there. But I could also see how plump the chickens looked outside. When he grew, he would be their enemy. But I didn’t want him to be. I did not want to change it. Because I could see from one very glance that the future of this fox wouldn't be a predator.

  ‘’Paris?’’ Tears fell from my face.

  What was that name?

  ***

  The door had drawings of twins being born from one she-wolf. The girl was closer to the moon while the boy was embraced by the sun and sky. Loved by everyone, he showed the world his gifts of music, light, and healing. But when he was cruel, darkness and plague rushed to the mortals’ skin. When lovers defied him or passed on his arms, he replied with the wrath of a god.

  Lyssandra remembered the three times she had seen a wrath like that. And her gaze turned to Hermes with her mind screaming once again. Her bones cracking, her flesh torn apart. But in the end, she kept looking at the drawings of the door.

  That this man was now punished, so the goddess of discord remained in her own prison. However, his eyes met a girl who-

  Lyssandra stopped looking at the pictures instantly and tried to hold her burning mark inside her throat.

  Worries conquered her. What was she doing there? She became what she hated the most, wishing for a god to get her out of her prison, helping a god…

  Hermes' long fingers traced hers, trying to hold her hand.

  ‘’It will be alright’’He tried to assure her.

  Will it? She could see no future, no light or hope. But her hands touched the cold door, where she could see the image of the god being trapped slowly inside the ground.

  Lyssandra was prepared for everything to happen as she was opening the cold marble. But Hermes grabbed her hand, giving her a strange piece of metal close to her palm.

  He ignored it instantly as she drew it to her pocket, thinking it was something useless. Looking back now, Lyssandra could see the god’s terrified eyes. It seemed that he could not enter with her. Maybe he was not welcome there. Or maybe he was too afraid to face his brother.

  ‘’I am sorry, Lyssandra, but."

  ‘’I understand’’She spoke and Hermes’ lips parted and made a smug face. ‘’You are afraid of facing the consequences of your actions’’ And her eyes looked down to Pup, who was wagging his tail left and right.

  And with the door now opening slowly, she started walking inside the darkness. With her steps getting shakier from the terror of the dark stairs, her ears heard Hermes sighing.

  ‘’Fine, you are right’’He admitted and held her hand tight. That was surprising, but Lyssandra replied with a shrug, thinking that he had changed.

  The cold shivering on her skin, her bones clattering with her free hand, was slowly tracing to the wet walls.

  Hermes finally spoke.

  ‘’What comes after?’’He asked gently.

  What comes after, really? What will the woman see in front of her? Did she come for nothing after all? Will the god push her away?

  Soon, her questions will be answered-

  ‘’Do you hear that?’’ Lyssandra asked Hermes.

  ‘’Hear what?’’

  Ignoring the whispers, Lyssandra’s gaze found a glimpse of light. A valley filled with sunlight was growing in the dark room. A bright sun was hanging at the top of the strange world with a tall man made of citrine sitting on the spring grass. His hair was in the shade of the fire, embracing the wind, and his eyes faced the light above. He was sculpted at the same time as he saw him in Perseus’ palace.

  Lyssandra, all excited, began to run closer to him, with her fingers and legs shaking. Her mind rushed into a million thoughts, but everything stopped when she saw the expression on the god's face. There was no emotion as she saw her. No memory in his eyes. He stood up and began walking away.

  ‘’Wait, stop’’Lyssandra grabbed his claws and backed away from her.

  ‘’Who are you?’’He asked, confused. And Lyssandra’s heart shattered into a million pieces. Right, of course, he wouldn’t remember her. She was not important to him. He had given promises to every one of the people he had fallen for. She was no different than them. She tried to speak to him, to force words to come out of her lips.

  ‘’Am I supposed to…’’His eyes looked even deeper into her soul while his fingers traced to her throat, right at the golden scar. ‘’No, you aren’t one of my own.’’

  One of his own? Had he made other people immortal? Lyssandra tried to restrain her panic and began thinking, but she had heard nothing of it.

  ‘’Maybe my brother’s you do have.’’

  ‘’Listen to me–’’She bit her tongue and tried to reach him with her hand, but he slapped it away. ‘’Do not touch me.’’He commanded, and the girl stepped back.

  Speak, woman, speak.

  His eyes looked above her, and his voice called out Hermes. ‘’I think your pet got confused.’’

  And Hermes shouted from behind. ‘’Sorry, dear brother, she always does that.’’ There was laughter.

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  Pet? What was happening? Why was her heart pinching so much from those cruel words? Speak, Lyssandra, just speak, call out his name.

  What was his name again?

  But there was nothing to say as he began walking far from her, until she couldn’t see him anymore.

  Her face turned deep red, thinking of what just happened. Pathetic woman, you turned to the thing you despised. You, waiting for a god to-.

  ‘’Who is talking?’’She asked in the cold wind, and Hermes appeared right next to her.

  ‘’Well, that was a pity’’ The god frowned and looked down at the woman, whose gaze was restraining her tears. But the sharp talons of the god appeared close to her shoulder, playing with her skin.

  ‘’That also means you can come back to me.’’

  Her mind ached as she backed away from him.

  ‘’No, I cannot, do it, I do not-’’

  ‘’Silence girl’’Rasped the god, and with a snap of his fingers, she could see back a room that she wished for her gaze to never see again. Her nose never smells the thick scent, nor do her bare feet touch the cold marble floor of it.

  ‘’Why am I back here?’’

  ‘’I let you go, because I thought that you would make sense to him. But I was wrong.’’He explained, and with one more snap of his fingers, a golden collar appeared on her throat with a chain following, tied up to one of the columns. Just like her legs and wrists that were following right behind.

  Fear found her spine, caressing her all so slightly. And Hermes moved back to her, so close. ‘’I was so wrong in believing in you that you could have done anything right’’There was a wide grin. ‘’You are a foolish woman’’He whispered with his fingers, grasping her skin so tightly.

  ‘’You cannot keep me here, I need to’’ She tried to speak, but it was too late as Hermes made her student appear in front of them, looking all confused. His eyes were darting, trying to face his teacher as the herald of the gods was offering him a dagger. And the terror grew stronger with Lyssandra trying to get out of her golden chains.

  The grin of Hermes grew wider as the woman was now facing the boy she once raised. His clothes were exactly the same, and his body was still bleeding. And his eyes had a million thoughts. Fear, betrayal, anger. She had seen those eyes so many times before.

  ‘’Teacher, please-’’

  ‘’Get away, boy, get away from him’’She glared back at Hermes, who was grinning like a fool.

  I will never leave you. Nor will I abandon you.

  His sharp silver lips whispered something to his ear and moved to Lyssandra, grabbing her face and forcing her to watch.

  His eyes were steady as his hands moved right to his chest, stabbing deep with the blade. Then, to his throat, and then back to his.

  ‘’No, no, no’’ Despair found her as she could see her student dropping dead, and Hermes laughing from the amusement of his old toy.

  Memories rushed to her mind. Of the boy, of her friends, of the people she cared about once before. A mountain of corpses.

  I love you, my oracle.

  We promise.

  Run Lyssandra.

  Everyone died. Everyone that she touches suffers all, because of her. Her body was torn apart, with her soul fighting her destiny to belong to someone, as her body was trying to get closer to the god who was surrounded by death.

  You are me.

  She was not crying. She could not cry with rage flooding her. What a foolish woman she was? Trusting a god, again? Thinking that a god will notice her? Again? Thinking that her loved ones will stay safe, all thanks to her? Again?

  That power once shifted?

  Or maybe it will shift. With her fingers now reaching so close to the knife while Hermes was trying to pull her so close to him.

  ‘’Now, my dear, I have to return’’

  She turned back and showed him the knife. Hermes let out a harsh laugh.

  ‘’How adorable’’He tilted his head to the right, making his hair fall. And he opened his arms, showing each opening turning hers.

  ‘’Come on, woman, attack me’’

  Rage was now her new blood and soul. Humiliation that had flooded her cheeks and despair that was growing in her heart. Her student was so young, he was still shedding red, his soul soon to vanish with no burial. And she was back in her cage. Chained and simply ready to be used by the god who was supposed to belong.

  And she had a dagger that couldn’t even kill him?

  ‘’Is this my punishment?’’Her voice broke.

  And here he chuckled.’’Am I a punishment for you? I admire you, I love you, I am giving you everything’’His hands grasped her forearms.

  ‘’I can make you-’’

  And Lyssandra shed blood. But it was not golden. It did not belong to the god that broke her spirit so many times. It was hers.

  She could feel the deep red falling from her good eyes as everything was turning back to black.

  ‘’Don’t open it, don’t open it’’Her voice trembled in fear.

  HOW DID YOU KNOW? Spoke to the god of the prison, Tartarus.

  ‘’I almost believed you actually’’Lyssandra panted. ‘’To make me lose all my hopes and dreams and end up in a loop of rage and spite. That’s what you are doing to your prisoners, isn’t it? Take their weaknesses and flaws, and punish them.

  Tartarus replied in a shaking tone and a growl.

  HOW DID YOU KNOW? WHEN DID YOU KNOW?

  Lyssandra patted as she was forcing the rest of her senses to wake up. Now, fully blind, she answered to the god.

  ‘’The moment Hermes followed me. The moment he admitted that I was in the right. He would never do it.’’

  Another humming. And there was a soft sound of satisfaction.

  ‘’Now, show me where the man I came for?’’

  The god laughed.

  ‘’Still, the same girl you once were, praying for a god, wanting to see him.’’ He whispered to her ear with the voice of Hermes.

  ‘’I came for no god.’’She lifted her blind gaze above.

  I will become mortal for you.

  I SEE…HY SHALL I LET YOU PASS? WHY SHALL I LET YOU BREAK A MAN’S DESTINY?

  And Lyssandra’s lower lip trembled. Why indeed?

  ‘’You know so much about me, because I belong to this prison. But I know nothing of you. ‘’

  Her hands turned into tight fists, making her nails dig deep into her flesh.

  ‘’Tell me your story, God of the Abyss’’ She commanded.

  TARTARUS

  I was created by light. By light and the warmth of the earth, I was created. Only to see darkness and cold around me. I couldn't see anything more. No happiness of the others around me, no warmth, no bliss. Just suffering. Why was I created like this? What trick was bestowed on my birth?

  I did not know. I never got the answer. I simply existed. And then, the first god came in front of me. In chains, his face was dressed in despair. He entered my walls, my body inside, and was trapped there. Why was he trapped? Why did I see his pain? Why was I showing him worse pain? Was this my life that the fates fabricated for me? To show the pain and suffering for eternity. Maybe it was. Because, as I could see his suffering, I wanted to bring more. More punishment, more darkness.

  Others like him came over. Other gods, other mortals. Mortals that tricked the people above, disrespecting them until their death. Until the Herald was coming to take their soul and guide them to me. Why is life like this? Why are they sinning? Why is life so cruel? Why are the people who are breathing draconian? What kind of world are they living in, so they are making things like this?

  Each day, one more soul is added to my body. Every second, one more pain for me to gain, one more pain to give. A punishment I was. A punishment made of light and warmth. A punishment that was torn out of the womb and led to the darkness. So I couldn’t see the light of day.

  As the centuries passed, I could see the people inside, losing every part of their lives, their identities. Losing every part of them until the only thing they could do was their punishment. What was the point if they were not hurting now? What was the point of not wishing for a better life? An escape? Who were those people inside me?

  Who am I if I cannot make them suffer? If they learn to adjust in my own terms, in my own way, for the end of time, what was the point of my suffering in the dark?

  I do not want to stay like this, but fate has already settled on me. And I gave up. I adjusted, I accepted my fate. Like the prisoners inside me, I am doing the same. Because this dark, macabre place is my own prison. The prison of the power that I was holding against the sinners and criminals, the sinners that were torturing my Mother for thousands of years, tearing up their warmth, bleeding her out.

  And maybe, a long time ago, I was one of them. Bleeding her out. Maybe that was my punishment.

  ***

  Tartarus gasped for air, and Lyssandra felt her nose shedding a thick iron liquid. Was she bleeding?

  YOUR FATE IS SEALED, LYSSANDRA, AND SO IS THE GOD THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAVE.

  EITHER STAY HERE AND SUFFER, OR GO BACK WHERE THE THREE GODESSES HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU BEF-

  ‘’Screw them-’’ Lissandra barked. Her fingers were still bleeding, and her mind was getting numb. But she finally said what she wanted to.

  ‘’I understand your pain and suffering, ruler of your own prison, I understand how much pain you have to endure.’’ Her voice became even drier.

  ‘’But I cannot do what the Fates, the gods, have settled for me. Because of what you said, it is not life. You punish the prisoners until you bring them deathtof their souls and become a part of the abyss. Thinking that is now their new life. That is not where I belong’’

  Tartaru growled.

  ‘’And what the Fates have decided for me was nothing more than another prison. And I refuse anyone else telling me what to do.’’She took a few blind steps further.

  ‘’Not the Fates, Not Hermes, no kings, no gods, not even you.’’

  And Tartarus stood there in silence. For a while, as he slowly let out a heavy, disgusting breath, the scent of rotten corpses filled the air.

  WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THE ONE YOU ARE TRYING TO SAVE, RISKING YOUR LIFE, HAS GIVEN UP? HAS ACCEPTED HIS FATE AND SIMPLY LIVES LIKE A PART OF ME?

  A slight kiss of shivers found her spine as a pair of hands was trying to push her away, grabbing her shoulders. And one more pair found her legs. And another her throat. What if she actually can’t take him away?

  ‘’It’s not your choice. Not your choice to judge.’’She said, spitting her pain out? And Tartarus hummed.

  HOW ABOUT A WAGER THEN?

  She raised one eyebrow and still restrained her eyes from opening.

  IF YOU MANAGE TO TAKE HIM OUT, I WILL LET YOU BOTH GO. NO WARNINGS, NO MORE NIGHTMARES. BUT

  She could feel the god getting closer, his breathing getting heavier.

  IF YOU RUN FROM THE IMAGE OF HIS, IF YOU GIVE UP, IF YOU TRY TO DRAG HIM OUT AND STILL RESIST. YOU BOTH STAY. HIM INSIDE HIS REALM OF A PRISON AND YOU, INSIDE YOUR NIGHTMARE.

  Blood, memories, chains. She gave up every hope in her life. But that was the only way she could be reassured that this god wwouldlet her pass the rest of the path with her vision.

  ‘’Very well’’She nodded.

  And Tartarus chuckled.

  ‘’But’’She raised her index finger.

  YOU CANNOT MAKE THE RULES, GIRL. Grunted the god.

  ‘’If I lose.’’She explained.

  WHEN YOU LOSE-

  ‘’If-’’She reassured the god. ‘’I lose, I want you to do me a favor. Tell Hermes to’’

  I will never leave you. I will never abandon you. The boy’s life is so small. Maybe it would be better to live a longer life without her.

  ‘’Protect my student.’’

  The god laughed. YOU TRUST HIM? AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE?

  Lyssandra did not reply. No, she didn’t trust him. Not after everything, with her body still tremblingfromf what he did to her, what he forced her to see. But when Hermes tried to help the boy get out of his prison, he could see in his gaze a familiarity. An expression of concern and care.

  VERY WELL. I SWEAR TO THE RIVER STYX THAT I WILL KEEP THE END OF OUR WAGER.

  ‘’I swear to-’’Her voice began trembling with poison spitting from her mouth. ‘’To river Styx that I will keep the end of our wager.’’

  She finally opened her eyes, and she could finally see Tartarus. A girl around the age of sixteen with round lilac eyes,l ike the color of beautiful flowers. Brown curls to her waist, and a small smile as she was trying to look down at her white dress.

  She did not speak as she vanished, and everything became brighter, making Lyssandra able to see what was happening.

  There were two columns in a cold winter valley. Tall enough that she couldn’t see the end of them from above the sky. She kept walking closer to them andsaw thatg the white columns were built by a strange material. A bit further away, there was a temple, looking as if it were made of the exact matter.

  They were shapes engraved in the columns. Calculated to perfection for every piece to stay in touch. Someone had taken good care of it.

  As she kept looking at the columns, she realised slowly that the material that the sculpture used was bones. Long, thin human bones. And right to the ground where the columns were stuck inside, they had skulls. Strange human skulls, as they had the same marking. One long slash on the breach of the nose and the other mark on the right side of the-

  Lyssandra stood there, silent, and kept looking at the bones for a little longer. Her bones, her skull, her entire body were parts of a temple.