"I’m off to give a motivational speech — with nothing but terrible advice, but in the cheeriest tone you’ve ever heard," Glitchet sputtered as she floated toward the woods.

  Nick gently caught the bot, tucking her close to his chest with both hands to stop her from wandering off.

  "Hey, if you actually do that, let me know — I’d love to be there," Nick said with a tired, straight face.

  "You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity... You can let me go now. I think I’ve suffered enough social interaction for one day — if you’d be so kind... meatsack."

  *Brrrrrrrr*

  Nick felt a vibration in his pocket. He reached in, grabbing the pager.

  *Be there in 10.*

  Nick pocketed the pager while whisking his *Emotional Support Roomba* out of the air, tucking her under his arm.

  "We need to get going. Adam just messaged me saying he'd be here in ten minutes."

  Tiffany nodded, her face switching to business mode as they jogged down the trail leading to his motorcycle. They were about there when they started to hear voices talking back and forth in light banter.

  ".....Then she grabbed my neck, and the only thing Ey could get out was ack-ack-ack! Your missus has a mean grip, that she does..."

  Tiffany could hear Jarvis and Moyra chatting as they drew closer. Her face winced as she picked up that the conversation was about the brief fight with Moyra.

  "Hmm, that's not like the missus. Normally she's more calm... good heavens... I'd say she's quite serious about that man... Oh, dear..."

  Jarvis replied to Moyra, somewhat entertained by their banter, but also unsure of her relationship choice.

  They both stopped chatting as they heard the crisp crunch of gravel — two sets of footsteps making their way toward them.

  Moyra stood by the motorcycle, enthusiastically inspecting the bike, while Jarvis hid behind her until the three emerged from the gravel path.

  "Hey! Watch the paint! It's still kinda new... even with the raining debris from earlier..."

  Moyra stiffened up, standing at attention when Nick lightly raised his voice at the startled, now-human Parose.

  "Geeze, calm down, Moyra! I was just pulling your leg."

  She looked at him, crossing her arms and cocking an eye at him, not appreciating being startled — but she just shrugged him off, going back to checking out the bike.

  "Moyra! Think fast!"

  She jerked up, seeing something flung toward her face. She caught the leather-stamped keychain with a plastic fob clasped to it before it hit her. She looked at Nick, going from momentarily confused to beaming with excitement.

  "Flip the toggle switch on the right handle! Just don’t leave us, ok?"

  She nodded excitedly as she flipped the switch and started playing with buttons, eventually figuring out how everything worked.

  "Take it for a spin around the block, just... just make sure to bring it back in one piece. Are we clear?"

  She nodded again excitedly, starting up the bike and slowly wobbling off — until she punched the throttle, riding a wheelie over the grassy ground that led to an open parking lot. She tapped the rear brake, slamming the front wheel to the ground with an audible Donk, before cutting over and disappearing down an alleyway, yelling what he could only assume was a "waaaaaaaeeeeeeeheheheheee!" with extreme excitement.

  Nick closed his eyes, placing a hand over them as he suddenly regretted his action, silently praying that she didn’t kill herself and brought the bike back in one piece.

  "Mum! You’ve returned!" Jarvis exclaimed, exasperated.

  Glitchet, upon seeing Jarvis, shrank behind Nick, keeping her distance.

  Jarvis was more focused on Tiffany as he floated over, giving her a hug around the neck. She just smiled, patting the overexcited bot.

  "Good to see you too, Jarvis. Oh, Glitchet — come say hi to your new friend."

  Glitchet peeked from behind Nick’s shoulder, eyeing the other bot suspiciously with slitted eyes.

  "Must I? I think I’ve exceeded my maximum capacity for public engagement this evening..."

  Jarvis was taken aback by the news of a new housemate — and by the rude response — as he just floated there, staring at Glitchet.

  "Well I never..." Jarvis responded, at a loss for words.

  "That’s quite okay — and now you have... Tadaaaaa," Glitchet replied in grand display, her frame slowly spinning around at the “tada” part as if she were modeling herself.

  "Glitchet, be nice to Jarvis, please. Be friends."

  *Sigh*

  He floated up to Glitchet with a clamp extended, as she just stared at him with arms crossed.

  "Hello, I'm Jarvis, model #3724. It's... a pleasure to meet you."

  Glitchet extended a claw while rolling her eyes in a courtesy bow.

  "Charmed, I'm sure. I'm Glitchet — an AI with the intellectual processing power the size of a planet, conveniently labeled *Emotional Support Roomba*, stuck in this befitting body, with this torturously pleasant female voice. Now... if you'll excuse me, I'm going to float off somewhere less social, mind you."

  She turned without waiting for an answer from Jarvis, leaving him floating with his clamp still outreached, then perched herself on Nick’s shoulder — briefly blowing raspberries at Jarvis before her face switched to her three-lined facial expression. ??

  Nick gently patted the lid of his Emotional Support Roomba, eliciting an electronic growl from her. He stopped and rubbed his forehead, pausing when he heard the familiar sound of his bike engine pegging off the redline, heading in their direction.

  He could see the beaming smile on the large red-headed woman’s face as she blasted toward them, not bothering to shift gears at a disturbing speed.

  "Moyra! Downshift and lock the brakes!" he yelled out nervously.

  "Ey, yer no fen!" she replied, locking the front and rear brakes while downshifting and using the engine brake system. She cut the bike sideways — sharp — using the heel of what was left of her leather hiking boot to dig a trench into the ground, sliding the bike without crashing it and throwing a shower of dirt and grass on the party of four.

  "Geeze... Thanks, Kaneda. How about leaving stunts like that to the professionals?" Glitchet quipped, whipping the dirt off her lid.

  "Remind me never to let you drive..." Nick said, still managing to keep his cool while raking his fingers through his hair, trying to get the dirt out.

  Moyra tossed his fob back to him with a chuckle.

  "Ye know, if that stick up yer arse were any longer and girthier, you'd be waddling."

  About that time, they turned to see a set of headlights coasting toward them. Both droids floated off into a nearby tree, just in case. Nick finished dusting himself off before jogging over to the car that slowly turned off the asphalt, rolling across the grassy field at a cautious pace.

  "Hey, kids! No loitering at this hour or I'm calling the cops!" a voice hollered from the car.

  Nick put a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the blinding headlights as the car came closer.

  "Screw you, Adam! And turn your damn headlights off — you're blinding us!"

  As he said this, the headlights faded off into the night, followed by a laugh he knew too well.

  "Hahahahe, what's the matter, Nick? Sense of humor left and went to bed without you?" Adam said with a snicker, as he parked and got out of the car, meeting Nick the rest of the way.

  "Fuck you."

  "Would you at least buy me a drink though? I'd settle for coffee... But anyway, what's the emergency at this time of night?"

  Nick looked at Adam, scratching the back of his head.

  "Look, thanks for coming out here on short notice... Can I get a raincheck on the drinks tonight? That is... unless you wouldn't mind buying."

  Adam gave Nick a tired, cold stare for a few moments.

  "Once a cheap bastard, always a cheap bastard."

  Nick put his hands up in mock surrender, as if trying to shield himself from the truth.

  "Hey... okay, you got me there. But you're not buying me drinks... Hey Moyra, got a sec?"

  He turned back to the two ladies still standing by his poorly parked bike. Moyra jogged over to the two men with a look of curiosity and excitement on her face.

  "Moyra, this is my best friend Adam. Adam, my cousin Moyra — she's from out of town."

  She stood next to Nick, extending a hand to Adam, who looked a little stunned as he offered his hand up and looked up at her. She smiled warmly, unintentionally showing off a mouth full of sharp teeth.

  "Moyra Oakenlance at yer service, deary," she said happily, pumping their arms in a handshake.

  Adam, for the first time, seemed lost for words — which Nick was thoroughly enjoying, watching the man stare up at the woman who was easily a head taller than he was.

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  It wasn't long until Adam recovered his usual self, snapping out of it and kissing her hand before she let go.

  "Au shaunté, mademoiselle. And how is such a lovely lady such as yourself even in the same gene pool as my idiot friend?"

  Moyra blushed heavily at this and started stammering until Nick cut in.

  "Hey! That's *idiot* best friend, thank you very much. Besides, we haven't really spent a lot of time together — she came all this way from Scotland, and the place she was going to rent seemed to have... blown up earlier. She needs a place to stay... and I... kinda already have company."

  That’s when Adam looked past Nick and the beautiful red-headed brick wall of a woman that was Moyra, and noticed petite Tiffany, who waved back at him with a mousy grin before she slowly jogged over to stand beside Nick.

  "Well, well — I see you found who you were looking for the other day. Dating already, are we?"

  He looked at Tiffany as she wrapped her arms around Nick’s, nuzzling him with a smile. Nick reached down, running his fingers through her wavy red hair in a soothing manner, laced with gentle head pats.

  "It's... complicated. Let’s just say we get along exceptionally well."

  A soothing, low-toned rolling growl started to emanate from her core upon hearing this.

  "Anyway, we’ve got a break in the case — that’s all I can say for now — and I was hoping you could look after Moyra for me. You know, show her around, have fun... take her for drinks. Maybe tomorrow we can do a double date at the Chopping Block."

  Both Moyra and Adam started stealing glances at each other, their faces shaded a bright red that could still be seen in the moonlit night.

  Tiffany unintentionally squeezed Nick’s arm harder at this, her heart swooning at the thought of a date — a real date — with a living person.

  "My, this must be quite a thing for you to opt to go there. They slaughter their own cattle fresh for the steaks..."

  Nick started feeling his sleeved shirt dampen. As he looked down, he noticed Tiffany’s eyes were dilated and she was drooling on his shirt. He lightly nudged her to bring her back to reality from her meat fantasy.

  "So would you please keep my cousin entertained for a few weeks — or until we can find her another apartment?"

  Adam looked up at the beet-red woman casually glancing down at him.

  "Um, wait-wait-wait... you finally have a break in the case... and you're wanting to do a date night?" Adam looked up to Moyra, shifting his tone.

  "No offense to you, miss."

  She looked down at him, waving her hands. "None taken," she said, trying to behave — though not too obviously — while checking Nick’s friend out, and was quite pleased.

  "When did this happen? Three days ago you were wanting to drive your head through your desk because of no leads. Plus, you never did tell me what happened with that Tommy guy you were supposed to pump for info at the party... wait... why are you two looking at each other like that?"

  Tiffany and Nick both had the deer-in-headlights look and kept glancing at each other nervously.

  Sigh Tiffany looked up at Nick, rolling her eyes with another sigh, not wanting this night to last longer than it already had.

  "This is the same Adam that you grew up with and trust your very life with, right?" she asked Nick with a stern, firm glare — not menacing, but the kind that asked permission and verified Nick’s trust before she went further, taking charge of the conversation, Nick nodded "yes" at this a little puzzled as to where she was going with this.

  She stepped toward Adam. He looked from Nick to the girl before him, wondering what the heck was going on and why he had the sneaky sensation she was involved.

  "I killed Tommy..." Tiffany declared to Adam in a stern voice that sounded older than her youthful appearance portrayed.

  This stunned Adam, leaving him to wonder: Why? How? What’s going on here?

  "Excuse me, what?" Adam looked confusedly between her and Nick.

  "Just show him and get it over with. Adam, hand me your gun."

  Adam looked at his friend like he’d lost his mind — which, to be fair, he probably had at this point.

  "It’s fine. Just stand off to the side — in case he does shoot, he won’t hit you by mistake."

  Nick and Moyra stepped off to the side, away from Adam and Tiffany.

  "Friend Adam..."

  "Yes...?" He looked at her nervously, but respectfully.

  "It’s been a long night. Please don’t shoot me... also, I’d still very much like that coffee you offered me the other day, please."

  She began to shift slowly. Adam stood and watched, slack-jawed in a mix of fascination and horror, as the small girl turned into a towering lupas in moments before his eyes.

  After she stretched to her full height, she bent down on one knee, head bowed toward the shaken detective.

  "Dear friend Adam, partner of Nick. Through tireless searches, we’ve found some of your people who were stolen from you. They are currently being dropped off at your local infirmary. You can check on them in the morning.

  The one named Tommy plotted to kill Nick. I was doing surveillance to keep an eye on the two. If Tommy hadn’t given the order for Nick’s death that night at the party, I would’ve left him be. But he wanted Nick dead, fought me for the right to this man’s life — and lost.

  I have been working with Nick to find the rest of the missing and purge your planet of the creatures we call the Rats. Once they are gone, I will no longer have a reason to be here or trouble you.

  So please — help us help you..."

  Nick chuckled at his friend, still slack-jawed as his mind seemed to be having a bit of gridlock.

  "Ha! Wow, Adam — I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you speechless. I mean, come on, stop standing there with your mouth open and let the lady up."

  Adam snapped out of his stupor and gently touched the head of the lupas.

  "Um, Mrs. Tiffany... that’s not necessary. You can get up. I’m nobody special. I’ll help however I’m able, if that’ll suffice."

  She nodded with a toothy grin before shifting back to her human form.

  *Phoomp*.

  "And as for you—Nick..." Adam replied looking at his friend squarely in the eyes.

  Nick looked lost, pointing at himself like he was being accused of something horrendous.

  "Yes?"

  "Fuck you, Nick."

  They both laughed, and the tension of the moment died down. Tiffany and Nick went over some minor details about what was going on — really, they just wanted Adam to look after Moyra for a few weeks, which he eagerly accepted. Moyra wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in for a friendly hug, practically smothering him in flannel-encased sideboobage — which, to be fair, he didn’t seem to mind.

  Nick and Tiffany waved off an overexcited Moyra, who looked like she was almost bouncing in place in her seat, making the car rock side to side as Adam backed away and turned to head home.

  "Do you think he'll be okay with her? She... seems to get excited easily," Tiffany asked, slightly concerned.

  "Geeze, that almost sounds kinda like someone else I know," Nick jabbed back, poking Tiffany with his elbow.

  "Oh — hush, you... You're not wrong though. Come on, I'm exhausted, famished, I stink, and I'm in desperate need of emotional support and snuggles."

  "You know we have a droid for that now, right?" he said with a smile, plucking his helmet from the mirror and sliding it on before throwing a leg over the seat.

  "True, but Glitchet isn’t really something warm to cuddle with," she replied, throwing her arms around him in a light hug as she sat behind him, ready to go to their new home. "Besides... I just want to curl up, binge on your media collection, and munch on the meaty treats I was promised."

  "Come along, kids — we have a long ride home."

  The two droids drifted down from the tree where they’d been perched, chatting with each other as the carbon lifeforms blathered on until the others finally left.

  "Right-o, Mum!" chimed Jarvis.

  Glitchet just mumbled, her display showing a rectangle-shaped pixel with a smaller rectangle proudly sticking straight up the middle in all its vertical glory.

  "I hope they can see this, 'cause I'm doing it as hard as I can..." Glitchet remarked.

  Nick immediately recognized the symbol and burst out laughing, making Tiffany do a double take.

  "Glitchet!"

  "Whaaaaaat?"

  "Rude! Yup — that one is definitely yours," Tiffany told Nick, making him laugh harder.

  Nick warmed up the bike, starting the slow ride home — Roombas in tow, and a warm, caring friend and partner clinging to him as if she’d fall off. But it wasn’t fear of falling — it was happiness and relief. They were making headway, making friends and allies. She wasn’t alone anymore. And more importantly, the someone she was with... she had a deep, instinctual feeling that he felt the same way about her as she felt about him.

  It felt warm, safe... different — like a warm embrace on a bone-chilling night in a snowstorm. And she wasn’t going to let go, or give it up.