Zen’s POV — cold, emptiness, loss of control

  When I opened my eyes, at first I didn’t even understand where I was.

  Then I realized.

  I was bound.

  My arms, legs, chest — everything was wrapped in smooth, dense, dark ropes.

  Elven.

  Ropes that suppress mana, constrict the body just enough so that I couldn’t rise or use my power.

  I was lying on my side, tied to Noxus’s saddle.

  Norris was riding beside me.

  He was looking at me…

  not like a comrade.

  Not like a child.

  He was looking at me like an enemy.

  Like I was a bomb that could explode at any second.

  I could hear his breathing.

  Even. Hard.

  Haras was carrying me like a prisoner — carefully, so I wouldn’t be struck or jolted.

  — I’m sorry, Zen… — he muttered. — But until we reach the elven forest… we can’t restrain you properly.

  His voice was heavy, like iron.

  I wanted to feel something.

  This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

  Anger.

  Resentment.

  Fear.

  But inside there was nothing.

  Just emptiness.

  Gray. Bottomless.

  As if the world had lost its colors, its sounds, its meaning.

  Seteya was riding ahead, grumbling loudly:

  — I didn’t think we’d ever need those damn mixtures the elves gave us…

  — Damn it… only TWO syringes left.

  She threw a glance at me — sharp, quick.

  Elinia was riding on the right.

  Her horse was alive.

  Her arm was fully healed — the mages had fixed everything.

  But she was looking at me…

  like at a storm that could return at any moment.

  Even the air was trembling with tension.

  Even Noxus was silent — and his silence was worse than any words.

  When we stopped, Haras easily lifted me off the horse, as if I weighed nothing.

  He set me down gently, like a child.

  — Once again… I’m sorry, — he repeated.

  And looked into my eyes.

  For a long time.

  With worry.

  With expectation.

  I saw myself reflected in his eyes.

  Red pupils.

  Cold.

  Empty.

  Not mine.

  Seteya came closer, sighed, and knelt down in front of me.

  — Well then, kid… — she tried to smile. — Want to eat?

  She began feeding me with a spoon.

  Almost like an infant, unable to hold it himself.

  Her hand was too close.

  Too close.

  And suddenly…

  Something inside me twitched.

  A beast.

  An instinct.

  Emptiness.

  I jerked my head forward and tried to bite her hand.

  Seteya pulled back instantly, eyes wide:

  — What the hell are you doing?!

  — Zen… what’s wrong with you?!

  I didn’t answer.

  Because… I didn’t know.

  Because even the thought of biting her didn’t frighten me.

  Didn’t surprise me.

  It was just… an action.

  Without feeling.

  Swearing, she continued feeding me — but now carefully, as if I were a wild animal on a leash.

  The ropes held me as if they were made specifically for someone losing himself.

  They gave a faint sense of fog.

  Suppressed mana.

  Muted emotions.

  Haras grumbled:

  — Those ropes were supposed to shut you down completely.

  — But as we can see… they only work halfway on you.

  He sighed heavily.

  — We even thought about putting you to sleep.

  — But that didn’t work either.

  Finn, Kyren, Siren, Miella, Astra, Tara…

  All of them stood at a distance.

  And yes.

  They were afraid of me.

  And I…

  …felt nothing about it.

  No pain.

  No shame.

  No anger.

  Emptiness.

  Even. Dense.

  Silence in my head, where there used to be a heart.

  I looked at them.

  And they looked at me — like at a monster that could break its chains.

  And for the first time…

  I realized that I no longer knew who I saw reflected in their eyes.