Waiting until the alien invader was within cow-patty range, District Officer Gennadiy Reshotkin barked the command: "Fire!" In that same second, the full power of this fearsome biological weaponry, gathered by the residents of Lysyi Kachan, flew at the flaming creature. Fending off the hail of patties, Vasyl Butylkin let out a desperate howl and a growl, but he stubbornly pressed on toward the barricade. And then, with a shout of "Here’s the main caliber for ya!", Gennadiy Reshotkin launched the spare wheel from his motorcycle’s sidecar.

  ?The spinning wheel slammed into the slow-cooker helmet with a heavy impact, knocking Vasyl Butylkin back a couple of meters. He lay motionless in the roadside ditch. The officer, snatching the hearth-fork from Baba Zina, marched toward the enemy. He pinned the "invader" down by the neck—the area between the flattened slow-cooker and the body—to fully immobilize him. Then he commanded the crowd: "Tie him up!" The mob quickly bound him with a rope they had swiped from a goat grazing nearby.

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  ?District Officer Gennadiy Reshotkin released the hearth-fork, walked to his motorcycle, and ordered: "Load him into the sidecar! I’m taking him to the regional center!" Then, turning to the collective farm chairman, he added: "Ivan Ivanovich, hop on the back. You’ll hold him down with the hearth-fork just in case." Ivan Ivanovich mused thoughtfully: "I think he’s a scout. There might be others..." Officer Reshotkin cut him off: "We’ll deal with that."

  ?After loading the captive "alien occupier" into the sidecar, the officer and the chairman, ordering everyone to stay away from the spacecraft, sped off toward the regional center.