March 25th 2022

  6:55pm

  I was doing a little spring cleaning this evening, until I felt my clothes sticking to me like a second skin.

  Though it was sweat at first from toiling the old town road here, moving all the bodies out of the way, until I heard the crackles and booms of thunder and lightning.

  A little storm never hurts anyone, except if you get struck by lighting.

  Everything was all fine and dandy until I felt the rain on my face.

  Now, I know my wn is pretty abysmal. I get that rotting corpses aren't doing the Feng Shui here any favors, and I'm certainly not winning and HOA awards, but the rain is making it worse somehow.

  All the bodies now have that wet dog smell, except it’s more like sour, rotting pennies under a hot summer sun.

  And if that wasn't bad enough, my face stings like hell. The missing chunk of my right ear also stings. At this point, my whole life stings.

  It’s like god had decided he really wanted to add insult to injury by taking a fat piss on my head and calling it rain.

  Having a tough time out there? Well, let big daddy cloud man make it worse.

  Amen. Hallelujah.

  I guess it's time I found myself an umbrel.

  8:32pm

  Hope this doesn’t happen often.

  Is it possible to the administer the sky a factory reset? 'Cause this isn't it.

  After I finished cleaning up what I could outside, I wiped my face with my sleeve.

  Once I came back in and sat down by the fire, I realized that was a mistake and a half. My skin feels tight and warm, like I sat too close to the campfire for too long.

  I’m pretty sure that’s not a rain thing. Since when does water start to hurt and almost feel like I’m bathing myself in olive oil?

  Let it be known that I have never in my life cimed to be highly intelligent.

  I stuck my hand outside. It stings. What is life anymore?

  I sat back by the fire and examined my pale, goblin hands. My fingers and palms are all flushed and irritated. It reminds me of the time I got poison ivy while on a field trip to go canoeing at a river.

  That shit sucked, and this does too.

  Using my all powerful gaxy brain, I’m deducing that ash or maybe the fumes of the decaying mumblies drifted up into the clouds? And now we got this weird acid rain saga going on?

  Whatever it is, I should probably put those jackets I found to good use. Or just, not go outside when it rains anymore.

  10:29pm

  It’s still raining.

  I made sure to thoroughly wash my… everything and put on new clothes.

  This rain is ass. I had a really cute, dark pink long sleeve shirt on but thanks to the rain, it looks like I lost a fight at a waffle house at 3am.

  There’s these ugly, syrupy-looking stains all over it. Absolutely gnarly. Hard pass, beyond saving.

  But the bizarre part about all this, is that the mumblies don’t seem bothered by it?

  I spotted a few of them, down at the end of the street while I was cleaning up, and they might as well been turkeys staring up at the sky with their mouths open, waiting to drown.

  Sometimes, I find that my own actions confuse me, but then again, so does reality.

  I let out the ugliest ugh imaginable. I don’t even know why that was funny.

  It's most likely going to take quite a while to perform a one man clean-up crew here, but I'll do what I can.

  Things would be a lot better if I had an extra pair of hands. But instead, I got usually a dozen extra pair of unhelpful mouths screeching and groaning in the distance.

  I reckon if I suddenly stop writing, I either did something profoundly stupid, or simply genius. I guess we'll have to see!