@auroraloon sat on her bed in the room she had started to call home on The Pharaoh. The room was barely big enough to fit the bed itself, but at least with the additional passengers aboard, she still had her own room.

  The Pharaoh's communications system was damaged in the firefight before they were able to jump away. @bitchfrog had requested they stop once they were a safe distance from the battle. She had claimed this was so they could attempt to fix the communications system, but @auroraloon knew it was impossible without getting to a repair shop. No, @bitchfrog was holding onto the slim hope that Oblivion had survived the onslaught, that Oblivion would pick up their trail and miraculously warp in to accompany them home.

  @auroraloon knew better. There would be no miracle.

  She held her head in her hands, frustrated at separating herself from @dustcaller at the Pit. If I hadn't gone over to help people get onto The Pharaoh, she told herself, they would have died. We were all lucky to make it out of there alive, but I knew I could save them. It was the right decision, wasn't it? I had no idea the Valkyrie ships were there.

  Even so, she knew that her split-second decision meant putting @dustcaller's fate in the hands of others, in the hands of @kittyboy. Why did she do it?

  I trust him, she thought. He's the best teammate I might ever have. She doubted the Solar Union would let her have another Worm. That meant @kittyboy was the closest she would get, and he wasn't even a Worm. He was more than that.

  And then that idiot had to take on the Valkyrie ships! she screamed in her head. We would've all died, but at least we would've died together!

  Instead, here she was, cowering on The Pharaoh. Oblivion was likely destroyed by now. @dustcaller, the unfathomable origin of @mickeymouse, was dead and gone forever. Oblivion didn't stand a chance in that battle.

  Why didn't I put up more of a fight? Why didn't I insist? I'm stronger than that. I could have overpowered @awesomedog and taken control of the ship. Instead, I let him jump us out of there.

  She cursed herself and her inaction. She was better than that. She had failed. She hated failure. Once, she had been the most elite Infiltrator in Union Special Forces. What was she now?

  And what will the Union do to me now that the origin of one of the most infamous aiways to ever live, and a human I swore to protect, was dead? And I wasn't even there to try to stop it! I'm so fucked! First, I lost my Worm. Then the Ophiuchus snakeskin armor. Now this?

  She punched her mattress and slumped over, resting her elbows on her knees, massaging the back of her head, letting her curls hang in front of her eyes.

  The Pharaoh was heading to Sovereign Starbase. @auroraloon couldn't believe she was heading into the heart of the Alliance Starmada, as a guest aboard a Darksider ship instead of a prisoner. If she stayed loyal to the Solar Union, this would be an unprecedented opportunity for intelligence gathering on the enemy.

  Am I loyal to the Solar Union? she asked herself. After leaving @dustcaller behind on Oblivion, should I be? Are the Darksiders even the enemy? Now that I've fucked up again, maybe this is for the best? I could start over.

  But they will never trust me, she thought. Once a Burner, always a Burner.

  @auroraloon had no idea what she would do. She just had to trust herself. She would know when the moment arrived. She couldn't imagine herself defecting to the Outer System Alliance, but @kittyboy and his crew had surprised her. @kittyboy had saved her, had saved everyone on The Pharaoh. She hoped he could save himself.

  "Foolish girl," she said, admonishing herself. She shook her head. Why can't I get @kittyboy out of my head?

  @auroraloon knew the answer to her question. Even crowded with additional passengers, The Pharaoh was quiet for her. She was an outsider, and she missed @kittyboy. He was unpredictable and clumsy, but somehow he pulled through, for himself and for those around him. He was so positive about the world that she thought it would get him killed for good, but there was something brilliant about his foolishness.

  He's just … wonderfully random and sincere. Maybe I should go to 1941 Wild? she thought to herself.

  If she could recover her memories, maybe she would understand more about how she felt about @kittyboy. She wanted to be better prepared the next time they met. She was worried that being around him would dull her Infiltrator senses, cause her to make mistakes. She felt unfocused.

  Why else would she be here on The Pharaoh when she was supposed to stay close to @dustcaller?

  She hated not having her ship, Rift Runner. She hated not having the freedom to go where she wanted, on her missions. She hated being on The Pharaoh, where everyone looked at her with suspicion. She hated that @awesomedog had command of the ship because he was the highest-ranking Alliance Starmada member. She hated that they were going to the heart of Alliance Starmada operations. She wanted to go to Earth, find a quiet spot in the quarantine, make a garden, and lie back in the sun.

  As she lay back on her bed, imagining herself resting peacefully on Earth, far away from the world, the door to her room slid open.

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  Who would be visiting me? she wondered. Maybe @bitchfrog?

  Only @kittyboy had seemed willing to engage her in conversation, maybe because she was a Burner, and an Infiltrator at that, or maybe she was too cold to the crew. Am I a cold person?

  She looked over to see an empty doorway, finally spotting Sango. How did he get the door open? He chirped at her, hunching his back and rubbing against the doorway with his tail held high. @kittyboy probably rigged the ship to open for Sango. He was obsessed with the little kitten.

  He trusted me to take care of Sango. That look he gave me in the warehouse, just before he swung down into Oblivion and disappeared, said it all. "You're his Mama. Take care of him."

  "Hey, little guy," @auroraloon called to him. She could hear him purring from across the small room.

  Sango rushed over at the sound of her voice, jumping up onto her bed. He weighed practically nothing, but she noticed he was already getting bigger. He wriggled his face at her arm, nudging her until she moved her arm out of his way. Sango nestled in under her neck, touching her face with an outstretched paw, and then started licking her nose.

  She laughed, enjoying his company, despite his kitty breath.

  "What have you been eating?" she said in a baby voice, gently stroking his tiny body. He rumbled with his purrs, staring at her in a trance, while she hummed a song to him.

  This was exactly what she needed. A moment to lie down, a presence to soothe her, someone on the ship who accepted her without judgment.

  Sango stopped licking and snuggled up in a ball on her chest. He was warm and cozy.

  @auroraloon had drifted off into a light slumber when her left arm started to tingle.

  She tried not to move it. It was pinned slightly beneath her, supporting her upper body. But every time she breathed, it tingled more. She tried to ignore it, to fall back to sleep with Sango as the ship soared toward Sovereign Starbase.

  The tingle became a sharp pain in her arm. She flinched, trying not to disturb Sango as the kitten continued to sleep, opening his eyes briefly before slowly closing them and digging his head deeper into her chest.

  But the pain in her arm worsened, bringing @auroraloon back to the moment. She frowned, upset that her sleep was disrupted.

  She hadn't felt this kind of dull pain before. She wondered if it was from when she bumped her arm leaving the workbenches, when she was making her ugly black shirt and @kittyboy had distracted her.

  But that was the other arm.

  And this was a different kind of pain. It came from within her arm.

  She suffered through it, but it seemed to spread up to her shoulder.

  @auroraloon sighed. "Sorry, little guy," she told Sango in her high-pitched baby voice. "I think I'm going to need to see the doctor. Mommy's got a boo-boo."

  She rolled her eyes at herself. So now I really am Mommy.

  She sat up, cradling Sango in her right arm. Her left arm was not just riddled with pain. It was unresponsive. She rotated her legs, getting her feet to the floor. She stood up and carefully eased Sango onto the spot where she had been lying, choosing the warmest place on the bedsheets.

  @auroraloon grabbed her left arm and pulled it close against her. It felt numb on the outside, but the pain still flowed, sharp and spreading. Then her arm convulsed, shaking uncontrollably, before going still again.

  She panicked. She had seen this before.

  She stood in the center of her room, waiting. You never panic, she told herself. You're always in control. Just breathe.

  She breathed deeply, holding her arm close, feeling herself breathe, focusing on the feeling running through her body. Her mind moved down to her toes, her ankles, her knees, her hips. She exhaled slowly and took another deep breath, feeling her stomach, her lungs, her neck, her lips.

  Her arm convulsed again.

  For reasons she couldn't explain, tears formed in her eyes. @auroraloon walked to the small mirror over the sink in her room.

  She saw herself. She saw her curly dark hair. She had dyed the tips again, restoring the violet color she loved, the little spark of personality she gave herself to tell her she was her own person, not just a soldier, not just an Infiltrator. A few curls fell in front of her face.

  She saw her violet eyes with the glint of teal, shining despite the dim light in her bedroom. She saw her lips, a rosy hue. She wiped a tear from the bottom of her left eye, catching it before it could run down her cheek.

  Pain shot through her hip, and her leg twitched. She yelped, stumbling, but caught herself on the sink with her right hand to hold herself up.

  The whites of her eyes turned red.

  That was when she knew, and she knew it was too late. She was infected. She was turning.

  @auroraloon glanced at the door, thinking she could at least lock herself in. First, however, she needed to get Sango out of the room. She looked at the little gray kitten. He was still curled up peacefully on the bed, but his eyes were wide open, staring at her.

  "Come on, little one," @auroraloon said. It came out in a rough whisper. She could feel it now, spreading, like the inside of her body was inflamed, like a million tiny bugs were gnawing at her bones.

  Sango let her pick him up, and she hopped to the door, holding him tight. Her back and legs refused to cooperate, stiffening as her body fought against the virus. She didn't have the time or mobility to set him down gently. As soon as the door opened, she dropped him outside. Sango was turning back to look at her as she closed the door and locked it.

  Locking the door gave her a brief moment of comfort. The crew will be fine, she told herself, praying that she could stay in control, somehow stop her body from turning.

  But @auroraloon knew that she couldn't.

  @auroraloon let herself cry as she bashed her head against the mirror.

  Why didn't she have a weapon with her?! She slammed her head into the mirror again. Blood started flowing from her forehead. If she could get a shard from the mirror, break it, maybe she could slit her throat.

  @auroraloon bashed her head against the mirror again. She didn't care about the blood dripping down her face or in her eyes. She was terrified that the taste of blood in her mouth had turned from iron to something more appealing. She closed her eyes firmly shut, screaming, and gripped the sink as hard as she could, trying not to think of the savory taste of her own blood.

  She slammed her head into the mirror again, shattering it, letting herself shriek and sob.

  @auroraloon let out a final wild yell, so primal in her ears that she couldn't believe it was coming from her own throat. She cried in fear. She slammed her head again and again. The mirror was long since destroyed, and now she bashed her head against the remnants, pieces of glass sticking to her forehead, a welcome sharp piercing sensation that reminded her that she was still @auroraloon.

  She didn't dare to look for a shard from the mirror, to try to slit her throat or gouge an artery. She knew that any loss of focus, any distraction from the singular purpose of striking her head against the wall, would mean the end of her.

  She needed to kill herself before it was too late.