I looked at the monitor in front of me and sighed. The face of Hana was looking at me with loving eyes but i knew. It's just a game.

  A game....

  I hate that it was just a game.

  "I love you too Hana."

  "I'm sorry, i can't reciprocate that. I'm... Im so sorry."

  Two dialogue bars waited patiently on screen for me. I looked at her wonderful face. So full of life.

  I hate how happy the protagonist is, and how happy his life is. How he is surrounded with so many wonderful people. Yet the people around me are such assholes. Their mocking laughs, their disinterested and disgusted faces. I... I wish they'd die.

  I wish I was the protagonist. A supportive family, friends that won't mock them, and a life without much suffering.

  I need a smoke break.

  Looking outside, the night was rather beautiful. Not a person in sight. No one that'll hurt me. Not like them, not like the people in my life. No parents that'll scream at me for not going for the top or being unable to get to the top. No hurt, no worries.

  I sighed and decided to dress up. I looked at the mirror. My face a little below average. My body too skinny. My hairline receding.

  God i hate myself.

  Sighing, i grabbed a beanie, a grey turtleneck jacket, and a pair of baggy jeans. I didn't care anymore. I just put it on without much fanfare and all that jazz. Man, how lonely am i to even narrate myself? No one can hear me nor will someone care. I'm just another face in the crowd.

  Moving outside, i could only see lit empty streets as most were probably asleep by now as it was 10:30. A comforting sight. No judgemental gazes, no one talking about me being some tweaker or druggie. I'd been swatted so many times because the neighbors think my house is a drug den considering i rarely go outside so they think the house is abandoned that when i turn on the lights at night, or see me the neighbors call the cops because i looked like a tweaker when I go outside.

  Walking towards the city to buy some smokes, and to clear my mind with fresh air, i pulled out my phone to check for any new messages or see my social media feed. Some were just asmr videos, some were fandom discussion pages, and a message from my boss.

  'You okay? You keep doing your job without taking a break, you immediately do it the moment i notify you. You okay bud? Is there something wrong? I mean i read your profile, and saw you're psych eval. Are you okay? You can talk it out with me?"

  I hesitated. This was the first time i got told words like this. Not even my teachers asked like this. They just notified when i blew up on them and started beating them up when they asked a question and i blanked out and said something degrading. I hated when that happened. The fallout was both glorious and saddening. All the people around me only gave me pity whilst my parents were taken away for criminal abuse and i had been sent to a foster home. They said their sorrys but i knew it was a lie. They laughed, and they didn't even hesitate to mock me before then. Those faces filled with pity. I utterly loathed them. I needed someone that supported me yet all they did was token sorrys whilst moving away like i was some plague they didn't want to discuss with because it was uncomfortable.

  Reading those words made me clench my fists instinctively. Memories of pity without meaning came to the forefronts.

  I text back.

  "Im fine boss. Stop worrying. Im happy."

  "U sure?"

  "ye."

  "Okay but if you need someone you can call or go to me."

  I sighed, and pocketed the phone. Looking up, i could see the city skylines. The sight was beautiful to my eyes. Although shame that there's people here. I would've rather be on my own than being around people but hey, you can't complain as long as I'm alive to enjoy it, it's somewhat fine.

  I snorted at that thought. Who am I kidding, I don't deserve any of this. I'm nothing but a fraud, my success built by the force of others rather than my own motivations but in the end I was able to live a life I was somewhat happy with albeit mostly miserable. Even a person's touch makes me flinch.

  As my own life flashed before my eyes, walking without a care about my surroundings. I didn't hear anything as for the life of me, I didn't even care if I got sideswiped. This life was already depressing as it was. Failed dates, trying to make friends only to be laughed at by how I looked, everyone knowing what happened and only giving fake pity, and non existent care. Fake smiles plastered in my face whilst taking those head on. Others not caring what I think, and when I try to befriend them, I feel like a yes-man.

  Even in dates, I can't even eat before my date taking pictures of the food and me only to post something insulting to me when I focused on the food and tried to be courteous to them rather than posting in social media. How I was a loser when I barely have any active social media other than tinder and Facebook since Facebook is needed for work group chats and tinder for trying to find dates without actually trying to go to a bar and talk to someone who would laugh at me. Hypocritical.

  Man, I really hate social media.

  Popularity, stardom, and cash. Without anything genuine or with substance. A single break in character, the followers leave. All invested on lies and facades. Behind the beautiful faces were thorn roses who would throw you away like a wilting petal when it suits them without a second's thought put into it.

  But that's mankind for you, a bunch of hypocrites. Thinking of you as nothing more as a stepping stone.

  Kicking a stone, I didn't notice the truck swerving towards me as it's breaks failed when it tried stopping as to not hit an SUV holding a family of 5 and didn't notice me but was too late.

  A felt a sickening crunch then numbness.

  My mind fading quickly as my life was gone in an instant.

  When I forcibly opened my eyes, I saw my death in the third person.

  A delivery truck was moving in the streets when suddenly the SUV tried to do an overtake. Then the truck swerve but didn't notice a pedestrian on the side and hit me.

  Is that how I die?

  An accident? Just like my life? Just like how they called me? An accident. I could help but laugh. The irony wasn't lost on me. An accident on life, and dies an accident. How poetic.

  Although, I didn't expect the afterlife to be like this. I looked around only to see nothing. No devil, no angel, no god, or something that looks human. Just utter isolation.

  Is this really death? No pearly gates? No fiery inferno? No nothingness?

  Man what a bum.

  I expect at the least oblivion, not some limbo in the real world where I am just a wandering ghost.

  I sighed, and looked around and saw the truck and the SUV running away. Not even bothering to call 911 to check if I'm alive but considering how I'm literally just a ghost standing that would've been for nought but hey, the thought counts. A+ for effort.

  I sat down and touched my cooling body.

  Poke, poke.

  I couldn't even be bothered to be disgusted at my own corpse. To be disgusted is to be unable to move on.

  With a ghostly thud, I laid down on the pavement and closed my eyes waiting for oblivion at the least to take me. Immortality is a drag from what I can remember from theology class. Anyone wishing for that is nothing but a fool.

  Man, I really wish I didn't live my life like this. Not like how my parents raised my strictly because they saw me as their tickets to success. But like how the MC of Kishi (Enemy) lived. A simple urban fantasy academy rpg dating sim. Atleast I'd be surrounded by friends or atleast have one.

  I wish I had lived his life. Not this.

  Many would say it's suicide to wish to live in anything with fantasy on it's genres, how I could've picked something simple like a normal dating sim like the original muv-luv since I really only read the first game since the girls look cute and the plot is interesting. Picking anything resembling shonen would be a big no for many as if you rub a single braincell reading these stuff, living in a shonen world would be a nightmare since one moment you could be enjoying a day with your family, the next they're dead or you died from the collateral damage and the government blaming it for 'gasleaks' or 'carcinogens' making people go trip balls.

  Looking at the fate series.

  Monkey brain say, pointy stick cool, big dominating onee-samas even better, and magic the height of stylishness since you could make cool shit with magic.

  Now, someone who had played Kishi completely would've told you that this was a terrible wish, like wishing to be reincarnated in the age of gods to the holy grail in fate and not specifying thus landing you a normal life/getting killed during childhood from either diseases, spiteful gods, or war. But my simple mind only got midway through the game before getting hit by the truck. I didn't even read the reviews as I didn't want to get spoiled. I just watched a short of someone playing this hack and slash fighting rpg dating sim and thought it would be cool to play.

  I didn't expect it to be something similar to fate samurai remnant or type/redline.

  "Is that what you really want? Very well, Pity be upon ye, o' unfortunate soul."

  Wait what was that voice?

  "The cycle of samsara smiles upon ye. As bad times breed good men, good times also breed bad."

  "Parameters for selective reincarnation has been fulfilled."

  "I pray that you atleast enjoy the next. As it is the rule of life, if the previous one was bad, the next one is good. And vice versa."

  "[spoiler]The will of everything smiles upon creation, and everything breathing beneath it.[/spoiler]"

  The next moment my soul felt drowsy, I couldn't help but yawn and slowly but surely, in a horrifying way, I fell asleep.

  The next time I opened my eyes, I felt the morning sun touching my face. It's gentle sunlight greeting me like a loving mother waking up her child that overslept.

  I took a deep breath, my mind clouded, not exactly remembering what happened last night. I smelt the air, and it felt fresh, so full of life, and tasted a bit like mints.

  Wait mints?

  I opened my eyes and saw the outside world. Above was a false sky, above that was nothing but rock. But an artificial was floating above.

  I froze there, unable to comprehend what the hell I was seeing. It shouldn't be possible. If a sun was put above, it would've incinerated everything. I racked up my mind trying to explain and rationalized what the hell is above me.

  Then I remembered some shards of my own memories of games with similar sky boxes or premises.

  Mictlan? No, if this was fate, I'd be dead by Mana poisoning by now.

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Hm...

  The air smells like mints.

  "I love it here, the wind smells like pressed daisies, high quality perfume detergent, and mints. The capital of the fairies sure is amazing."

  A character dialogue popped into my mind.

  Ah, Avalon. The territory of the faeries.

  Kishi (Enemy).

  A game set in a post apocalyptic world where the surface got incinerated by magical superweapons. Countries vying for territory and power, after years, centuries of magical stagnancy caused by magi keeping to the old ways and rarely innovating, a revolution in magic occured. It was once one person, then another. Then another. A year went by, and nations starts whispering promises to magi. Like any good self respecting governments, they made black projects. Magitech weapons capable of causing major ecological shifts and weather pattern anomalies. Some even capable of terra forming if used properly instead of war but mankind rarely cooperates with each other. Peace is volatile. Like what happens in twitter when someone raises a good point and many other biased people start noticing it, calling that person slurs for being akin to their ideological enemies and calling for censorship. People bicker, but imagine that on a diplomatic and international scale. Like in my world, another day in the shit show that was international and domestic politics.

  Twenty years after that revolution a devastating war happened that scorched the surface. It was called the collapse. Nations after finding a resource aptly named 'Solaris'. An ore that has high concentrations of Mana found in antartica. A single pound of the ore could power a city for a decade, and could power magical formulas able to rewrite causality and reality although the latter could only be done once.

  Thus an arms race began, then they stumbled upon relics of ancient humans in Antarctica. Relics capable of computing power much higher than mankind's greatest super computers. Some relics even were considered as super weapons capable of destroying a mountain if shot.

  That clusterfuck started the collapse as a cascade of diplomatic tension for relics, and Solaris mining rights blew up like a powderkeg. Drowning the world in a war so great that it incinerated Asia, half of the American continent, Europe, and south America. What was left fled to Africa or the artic but in the latter's case only the rich left there since they could survive there as they had the money to spare whilst many book flights to Africa to escape the conflict. Then skirmishes happened. After that it cascaded into a conflict that burnt Africa to the ground.

  The faeries, and their leaders the aere were at first hesitant to intervene as they liked humans as observation materials but after the incineration of Africa, they stepped in and took humanity away to Avalon. In doing so making humans form a contract/covenant/treaty that they were essentially a part of the warrior caste of the faeries as a reminder and punishment for what happened in the surface.

  Although that treaty was flexible as people could still choose to work other occupations but never work in diplomacy or law making without express supervision from the Avalon le Fae.

  Man, I'm fucked.

  Also pretty deep lore considering this was marketed as a dating sim. Most dating sims are just set in a pretty normal world but this one was niche even among the visual novel scene.

  I groaned. Well better check my room to see if I could still read shit here, or if this body I was inhabiting left some reminders of what to do. Atleast with that, I can have an idea on what to do.

  Looking around I found a calendar and saw that English was still the most well known language here.

  Not surprising if you consider that Avalon is technically English. The faeries were known to be from Britain and Avalon is connected to the myths of the londinium/Welsh region of Britain.

  June 24th

  Avalon Academy (Combat) entrance exams. Hell yeah!

  I could only groan.

  Of all things, why couldn't i have been some janitor. My body had to be a battle maniac student.

  Well, as a certain fake priest once said.

  "Rejoice boy, for your wish will finally come true!"

  I sighed, and started to rummage through technically my stuff. Surprisingly the person I was inhabiting was orderly and labelled everything.

  By that I mean OcD insanity levels of labelling.

  "Who the fuck labels spices from the country they were once discovered in?!" I shouted as I saw the pantry neatly labeled and stacked with foodstuffs labelled and put near each other by country of origin before the collapse.

  "You know what, I'll just cook up some eggs, and bacon. God I hope theres some jelly and peanut butter on the fridge with a slice of bread." I twisted my fingers and hoped for some bread, eggs, bacon, and peanut butter and jelly. To my surprise, the fridge did have them, although.

  "Why the fuck is the meat labelled and segregated?" My lips twitched as I could see the meat on the freezer labelled and segregated with rubber frozen solid cubby holes.

  What kind of psychopath segregates meat by cubbyholes?

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and didn't even question it anymore. First I got hit by a truck, then getting transported into Kishi, and lastly this? What's next? I'm going to get dragged into a war?

  I shook my head at that notion.

  I guess I'd go now?

  If I remember correctly not going to school is punishable by imprisonment here. I can't exactly ditch without a proper reason even if it's an entrance exam.

  Curse thy wish o cruel world!

  Wearing the clothes labeled entrance exams clothes, those were a simple white shirt, a pair of what seems to be those shoes used by martial artists from those old jet Lee and Jackie chan movies, and trousers that reminded me suspiciously like toji's pant fits that were death flags in jjk.

  God wish me luck.

  Little did I know I had what's essentially 'D' rank luck.

  So there I was wandering in the streets trying to find my way when suddenly I hear someone shouting and got hit.

  Thunk.

  My head hit the ground and groaned.

  "What the hell?" My brain hurts.

  Looking around I couldn't see shit. My eyes were blurry, and my head spun as the trauma of having the head slam into the ground was being comprehended by my own mind.

  "Oh, sorry. I-i I hadn't seen you, I'm really sorry. I'm heading late to school so I had to go! Bye! Meet me later at the cafe near Avalon academy so I can pay you back!"

  "Byeeee~" the person ran away from me as I groaned on the ground and tried crawling away with blurry sights. I was struggling to stand up, skull still rattling but it was slowly fading.

  Then I felt my right hand being picked up and didn't hesitate to gratefully accept the help yet when I felt the touch of another person my spine shivered in instinctual fear. After getting up I immediately flinched and pulled my hand quickly like a hurt cornered animal.

  Looking up I saw a rather good looking guy smiling at me.

  "You okay bud?" He asks, voice filled with concern.

  I hesitate to answer as the question was a trigger but quickly calm myself down.

  "Yeah, someone knocked me down earlier and ran away. Thanks man." The other guy smiles at me and dusts me. I look at him utterly grateful.

  "No problem man, you seem to be having a bad day. Wanna talk about it?" Eh...

  "It's okay I guess... I just woke up later than I needed."

  "Understandable. The academy exam is today. From the looks of it you're probably a freshman. You one?"

  "I mean yeah. I'm joining the combat course."

  "Oof. That's rough." The guy said. I sighed. I know. I read the VN. I'm getting my ass kicked for the next four years if I don't get lucky. If tactics are allowed, I'm playin' dirty. No honor amongst thieves. I'm a rat not some fps chad.

  "Yeah I know." I winced as I remembered how my PC got his ass kicked so many times and how I needed 4 to 5 plays before I finally got pass the bosses and NPC's. It was like playing a mix of sekiro, dark souls, and barebones MGR.

  I ain't surviving against someone who could move at subsonic speeds without tactics or prep. Then I realized.

  "Wait... You go there too?" I asked as he seemed to know the school curriculum.

  "Yeah. Second year in combat."

  "So your my senpai?"

  "What?" I almost snorted. God I forgot that this wasn't an anime or a japanese vn despite the VN had the English patch have senpai, kun, chan, etc on them.

  "Nah it's nothing. I meant your my upperclassmen?" He seemed to understand that and nodded thoughtfully. His face smiling.

  "Yeah. Although the exams would be hard. The examiners are hard to beat. You don't need to beat the examiners just impress them. One thing I have as a tip is use any advantage you get, honor gets you killed." He said with the utmost seriousness. I gulped and nodded. His smiled returned. This 180 reminded me of an anime I'd seen once. But that's anime nor reality.

  "Yeah, yeah Kakashi sensei."

  "What?"

  "Haha. Nothing. Just brain farts."

  "Okay?" He looked so confused. A smile crept on my face and decided to give this guy a chance.

  "Anyways as your upperclassman, I want to ask a question." Question?

  "Question? What kind?"

  "What kind of girl would you want." My man.

  "If I think about it. A toned girl with the ability to beat me up or someone who deeply cares." He looked at me like I was a weirdo. I sighed and nonchalantly shrugged.

  "Game is game."

  "What?" I sighed.

  "Just, a joke. But those kind of women are what I find attractive."

  "Not doll like? Beautiful? Petite? Big tits? Ass?" I snorted at that.

  "That kind of person is like a thorn rose. It'll hurt. Plus I'll get more competition with those kind of gals."

  "Gals?" Man I forgot this world had a different linguistic background than in my world. Most of the slangs were probably lost or not used anymore. God I feel even older than I am.

  "What I mean to say is that I have low standards and in doing so I have more fish to pick."

  "You don't have any ambition for love?" I snorted hard at that.

  "Love is love. If someone finds me attractive, I'd bite that. If I find it worth it, then so be it. Commit to the bit." I answered truthfully. I wasn't picky. Truthfully if someone was genuinely interested and liked me, I'd bite. I only wanted a true connection not superficial love.

  "I'm a simple man. It's not much but it's honest work." He laughs at that.

  "Your funny." I could feel the sarcasm.

  "I know." I snarked back.

  "Anyway, from how you flinched earlier, you have it rough?" He asked and I could only looked away whilst nodding slowly.

  "Oof. That's rough. Well if you'd like, I'd like to be your friend you seem to need it." My eyes narrowed at those words. What if this was some deception? What if he's just using me? No one ever befriends anyone without another reason just because they looked like they need it. Someone sees profit. That's what I experienced. Is this some kind of joke?

  But I just gave him a fake smile. The smile I used on people.

  "Sure." I judged him even harder now.

  "Okay then." He smiled and slung an arm on my my shoulder and started to drag me to school whilst showing the city to me.

  "This is the park, it's a beaut ain't it?" He asks as he points at the trees made from crystalline structures. It looked like literal trees made from bismuth, and pyrite with the refractive index of gemstones.

  The inner sea of the planet was more beautiful than the VN had shown. My breath hitched as sunlight reflected and caused it to shimmer rather beautifully.

  "Yeah it is." I answered but the guy looked at his wrist and pulled me away.

  "Hey!"

  "Shit were going to be late!" He immediately ran and dragged me to school. My legs were buckling from the speed and pressure. I wanted to scream but that wouldn't do anything. I sighed and just enjoyed the ride.

  The wind blew wonderfully on my hair, the feeling of it was amazing but a rather fleeting one at that as the guy I was with ran fast enough that it took around 10 minutes for us to arrive at school and with 3 minutes to spare before the start of everything.

  "This is where we part ways my guy. I'll see you later! I'll go now since If I don't the teacher is going to beat me up for practice!" He shouted as he quickly left me to go to my exams.

  I shivered as I remembered the touch.

  I didn't like it. Reminded me too many memories.

  My mother's hand pulled me away towards my room as she looked at me with disappointment. I flinched as this usually meant punishment for not doing as expected academically.

  "You didn't do as good as I expect. Do it again and I will punish you harder." She warned as she punched me.

  "I gave you the utmost seriousness in teaching you and this is how you repay it? I enrolled you into a private school with good credentials and you didn't go for the top? What about scholarships? What about the money me and your father earned?"

  "And what? You repay it with mediocrity?" I really wanted to fight back but it would make everything worse. I got 90 in the GWA. What more could she want? I did my best.

  I-i did my best damnit!

  If I told that to her it'll make everything worse. So much worse. I could still taste the soap.

  "You're a smart kid but you don't get it. Understand that you should reach for the top. We aren't doing this for ourselves but for you. We gave this for you and this is how you repay it?" Lier.

  "You just wanted me to succeed because you two see me as nothing more than you're retirement plan." A slap echoed through my room and I flinched. My cheeks hurt from the slap.

  "Ungrateful brat!" She angrily left and closed the door. A few minutes later she returned with a belt. I immediately backed away and curled up into a ball as she cornered me to my bed.

  I flinched and instinctively tried to curl up into a ball but I noticed it and immediately stood up straight. I sighed and hurriedly went to the stadium as it was where the combat exams were.

  Arriving there, I could see the other combat candidates. They were immediately called in to line up to write down their names for exam order.

  I waited, and waited.

  When it was my time, I listed my name and waited again.

  "Aggrian Bors." I sighed and raised my hand.

  "Come up here." I looked where the sound came from and saw a rather slim but toned man. Not what expected from combat instructor. I've seen books, and movies and often times it was made of mostly big burly men, not slim and toned.

  I walked up to the man and he eyed me down.

  "Not bad but could be better." He took a deep breath and signalled me to follow him. I didn't talk back and just followed him silently. Mind going a mile a minute on how to pass this.

  As to why?

  Magic ?

  The cool shit I could think of with magic is many. I couldn't give two shits about the other subjects since I know a lot already of chemistry and physics. I passed highschool, and got college bachelor's diploma. I know most of that already.

  The man led me to an empty part of the arena far from the other examiners and examinees. He tossed me a wooden sword. He then summoned another wooden sword.

  That's...

  Cool.

  Man, I wish I could do that.

  I took a deep breath and looked at the proctor.

  "Start." He said and he quickly moved. My eyes tracked his movement but my reaction time is lagging behind. I could see him move but when I tried to hit I didn't hit anything.

  A smack hit me as he countered back.

  I gritted my teeth and decided to play dirty. I started to run whilst dragging my feet, forcibly kicking up dust for the proctor to inhale and cough for me to take advantage of.

  Dust kicked up in the air but in doing so I inhaled some of it, causing me to cough slightly trying to clear the dust off my lungs.

  Then I heard a pivot.

  Shit.

  I quickly dodged and decided to fuck it.

  I spat at where I expected the proctor would be.

  Splat.

  I could hear a pin drop after that. The spit landed on the proctor's shirt.

  Then the proctor laughed.

  "You've got balls."

  "But you just pissed me off."

  Oh shit.

  Not good.

  I quickly moved and started kicking up dust and flailed my wooden sword around only for it to hit nothing.

  I could still track the proctor with the sound.

  God I played too much tarkov and any sound made my mind itch instinctively trying to prefire any attacks. I've been traumatized by Killa and the chads enough that it's statically more survivable if I just prefire shit before they could react.

  I swung my sword again but this time I quickly swung it at a 30° angle from where I once hit nothing. I let go and let physics do it's work. The wooden sword flew and I immediately tackled the ground a few angular degrees away.

  Gotcha.

  I tackled the proctor and kneed him in the balls. He winced and tried to push me away with a punch but I continue to knee him in the nuts over and over again. Stun locking him with pain.

  Stagger mechanic, oh I love to see that.

  In the 12th knee in headbutted the man causing both of our foreheads to bleed.

  I passed out as my brain shook from the impact.

  The last thing I heard was:

  "Pass." I smiled before blacking out completely.