“Alex! Thank god you’re okay!” As he rounded the corner and saw her, he accelerated his pace and embraced her. She was a little bit shocked at first, but she understood rather quickly. Last time they had seen each other was when she was being taken prisoner by the Enforcers. “So you were in there, that detention room that gunman freed?” While still locked in the embrace, he asked her this question. Thinking back to that situation made a chill go down her spine. The loud banging sound of the revolver firing, the imagery of the man dying falling before her. All she could do was nod her head in response.

  Finally breaking the hug, Steven still held onto her shoulders, keeping her at arms length. As if he was afraid she could be snatched away at any moment again. “Are they looking for you? Do you need to hide at my house?” Looking around them, he peered in all directions as he asked that question, making sure nobody could overhear. Since that hadn’t worked last time they tried to talk about a topic in secrecy, he also dropped his voice to that of a whisper.

  Shaking her head in response, she pointed at a flyer that had been hastily stuck to the wall in the early hours of the morning. “That paper. Over there. They didn’t really process any of the detainees, so, they’re asking people to give themselves up… voluntarily.” Finally letting go of her, Steven approached the flyer, before ripping it off the wall. He gave it a quick glance over and then proceeded to crumple it up in his hands and toss it over his shoulder onto the floor.

  “Ridiculous. They really think people will fall for this crap? The least they could offer is a nice lump sum to turn yourself in. Or even a fancy steak dinner?” As if he was genuinely pondering if he would give himself up to a fascist police state in return for a wonderful night out, he assumed quite the inquisitive pose. She appreciated it. Sincerely. Assuming Steven wasn’t actually this stupid anyway, she took this as him trying to return to his normal silly demeanor to lighten the mood of the events of the past day.

  “I think they’re looking for people who go against the agenda. Not people who sit around in their underwear all day until it’s time to go to work.” Chuckling to herself, she decided to join in on the mood lightening. He immediately broke out of his self-probing, dropped his shoulders and looked towards her.

  “Wait. How did you know that’s what I do on my days off?” It was moments like these that she truly enjoyed. The time that they got to spend at work together, the time they spent on their days off, the three of them. It was truly a wonderful dynamic that they had fostered.

  Alexandria had not come from an ideal home environment. That wasn’t to say that it was as awful as some other people might have experienced, but she also believed that all experiences are valid, and charting them on a trauma scale would be counter intuitive. From the beginning of it all, Alexandria had known that she was different. From the beginning of it all, she had felt alienated not only by her family, but even by her peers.

  Her family has always been very ‘traditional.’ Conservative, religious, and supportive of the ever vague yet stagnant American values. Her Dad had only ever supported her going to school because it was a legal requirement. He was of the belief that a woman had no place in education or employment. He would always talk about finding her the perfect husband to one day start a life with. Never once was she able to verbalize that she wanted nothing to do with what he thought was right.

  It wasn’t just her Dad, but the people around her had also always spoken as if finding a husband and starting a family was a given. Other girls would talk about the boys at school, so she would nod along or give surface level responses. She didn’t have the fortitude to tell them how she truly felt, that she truly wanted nothing to do with what they thought was normal. Growing up being unable to verbalize her true feelings and intentions, she instead acted out. She thought her actions would be more powerful, anyway.

  After graduating from middle school, she had begun to reject the traditional dress that her parents had forced her to wear. They would berate her, and she would be unable to verbalize her feelings or any form of rebuttal, but she continued to don her now very familiar darker style of clothing. During her final years of high school, she even started dying her hair from blonde to black. That truly drove her Dad up the wall with all sorts of comments about how no man would ever like her this way. Those were perhaps the only words that he had ever spoken that brought her peace.

  That was why, her lashing out at April that day had been truly out of the norm for her. She would often freeze up when it came to conflict, when it came to differences in view points. She had always been afraid to express things that might cause strife or derision, yet she had been able to tell April what was truly on her mind. Not just that, she had done the unthinkable. Outside of one encounter in high school, she had never confided in anyone her preference for women. Until she told Steven just yesterday, right outside of April’s apartment no less.

  Deep down in her core, she was terrified. What does he think? Does he see me in a different light? Does he have his own view points on same-sex couples that I’m unaware of? He seems nice enough, but what if there’s a side to him I just don’t know? The unknowable thoughts of the person right before you were truly terrifying. It was much the same for how April may feel now. Did she hate her after those things she said? She apologized earlier, but was she just trying to be nice to make Alexandria feel better? She was full of uncertainty.

  Steven noticed the change in Alexandria’s face as she became lost in thought. He stopped doing his slumped over posture and directly faced her. “Hey… it wasn’t really April, like they’re saying, right?” She jumped a little when he asked her that. She began to fiddle with her fingers, an action she would always begin to do when she was stressed or overthinking things. Looking into his eyes, she had no idea what to say. Would it be okay for Steven to know what April had done? Would it be better to lie here and protect her name? What would be the best move to make? What would April want?

  “I… don’t know.”

  △▼△▼△▼△

  Sat in a fetal position in the corner of the dark room, April hung her head, resting it atop her knees. As mentioned previously, due to the fact that her name and face were posted all around the ship on wanted posters, she could not return to her own home. Therefore, the place she was now was probably quite obvious. “Christ. You’re making the whole fucking room depressing. At least sit over here.”

  He craned his head back, looking over his chair at April who had been seated in the dark corner. This time, with no candlelight, the room was only illuminated by the glow of the television. Hearing Neil growl out that command, April finally lifted her head from her knees. It didn’t take long before she stood up and stumbled her way over to the chair beside him. Plopping straight down onto it, with enough force to send the seat back, she looked at the TV with a blank look. “I’m sorry.”

  “Would you quit your apologizing? I don’t want to hear it.” Neil rebuked her apologies, reaching down beside his chair to pull out yet another beer. Really, she was unsure where he continued to conjure up these elusive beers.

  “Everything I do. No matter what. It feels like I’m making the wrong decision. And now, the result of my incompetence means that someone's… dead.” She had finally dropped most emotion from her tone. Present within was no sadness, no anger, no outrage, no frustration. Her voice contained nothing. It was matter of fact, monotone, hollow. Truthfully, she felt she had nobody she could turn to at the eleventh hour besides Neil. Without her Father present to tell her about the workings of the world, without her Mother around to teach her the workings of the heart, she would be left to handle things on her own. How pathetic.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  Neil, sitting beside her, started to huff, as if he had something to say but he couldn’t formulate the words necessary. He was an ‘old fashioned’ guy, being from Earth and all. He often had trouble expressing what he was truly thinking. At times, he would make these huffing and puffing noises like he was about to say something, before stopping and ruminating in silence.

  She did really appreciate that he tried, even if nothing came out. She knew it was difficult for him, and it’s not like she deserved his time anyway. “Well. I should probably go. And turn myself in, that is.” Saying that in yet another monotone voice, Neil’s eyes jumped over to her from the TV.

  “What?” And finally, he spoke.

  “I killed someone. I scared the shit out of my friend. Because of me, the Administration is out there arresting people, hurting them, for all kinds of reasons. Because I legitimized it all.” April closed her eyes as she contemplated just how much harm her actions have caused. She was still glad that Alex was now safe, but she could still not shirk her responsibility for the events happening in this container.

  “What a load of crap.” For the first time in a while, Neil didn’t say that while watching TV and drinking from his beer. She shifted her eyes towards him, and saw that he had fully directed his attention towards her in his own way. His head was turned, and he was directly looking at her. To meet him where he was at, she too, turned her head to face him.

  “What? Did I say something wrong?” She asked.

  “Yeah. What is your, your first fucking day on Earth? These people will find any reason to do the shit they’re doing. If it wasn’t you, they would have found somebody else. If they couldn’t find somebody else, they would have invented something.” The words spoken by Neil were words spoken with conviction. Conviction enough, that it was as if it was something he was personally familiar with. He had always remained closed off from the rest of the world, always with his heart covered by a cage, so April wasn’t exactly sure just what he had experienced in his life.

  “You’re talking… as if you know it first hand?” When asked that question, his shoulders jolted just a little bit. That’s when he broke the eye contact they had been making. Just like that, even though she had taken the first step, grabbing the key that could potentially unlock Neil’s heart, he had swatted her hand away.

  “It doesn’t concern you.” He whispered, in a hushed, almost growled voice.

  Something was off about him. She could tell by the way he spoke, and by the way he was clutching his beer can. The aluminum can was bending under the pressure at which he was grabbing it with.

  “Nei–” She called out to him, but before she could finish, he snapped.

  “Turn yourself in? Are you ridiculous? What good is that going to do anyone? Will it make you happy? Will it make your friend happy? Will it make the government stop?” She recoiled at his yelling, and her face contorted in fear. “They don’t give a shit about you, April! They’ll just kill you and keep fucking terrorizing people, just like they did with your Mom! So cut this woe is me shit. What’s going on is bigger than you, do you understand that?”

  “Always wanting to sacrifice yourself, always trying to find a way to make other people happy no matter what the fuck happens to you, and that’s what got you into this situation in the first place! You shot that freak, with no regard to what could happen to you! And look where that got you. Your very life is now bigger than you.”

  Her thoughts came to a total standstill. If she thought about it, she realized she had been impugned quite a few times in recent memory. She truly was causing so many problems for those around her that she could rely on. She caused them so much frustration, to the point of boiling over and letting out their true feelings. She appreciated that too, though. That they could finally speak their mind. That she could hear what they had to say.

  “Your Mom… She said it was yours, didn’t she? That legacy of hers… it includes more than just your memories.” She furrowed her brows at that statement. More than just her memories? What could he possibly mean by that? It struck her at that moment. It was an accusation that she had kept shelved, as it served no relevance to her. Yet, even locked away, it had been subconsciously nagged at her mind until now.

  After her Father’s death, April and her Mother had a strong bond. At the beginning, anyway. As time passed, the two saw each other less and less. April would be busy with school activities, and she would begin to lock herself in her room more and more. Her Mother would come home later and later, until she began to sometimes skip entire days where she was present.

  It was something about their relationship that they had never gotten to reconcile. April had felt abandoned by the last person that she had in this world, and now that she was gone, she would never be able to have that pivotal conversation. She could only do the one thing humans were exceptional at, speculate without the tools necessary to speculate. Well, there was just one thing.

  “My Mother’s legacy… Do you know it? Was my Mother really a revolutionary?” She had to seize the opening that Neil had created. The more she thought about it, the more it didn’t add up. Neil was surely not present for her Mother’s execution, to hear the reason they had stated for her to be put to death. Nor had April mentioned it before. So why, in this context, would he mention her legacy?

  He stared, blanky. Not at April, not at the TV, nor even at the beer that he had been drinking before. He looked straight down into his own lap. As if something was crawling through his body that he couldn’t allow to get out. She wanted to keep pressing him, to find out what he had buried deep within, but before she could speak–

  “It’s your guys’ turn… this time.” He said that without looking up from his lap, a look of such pain upon his face. Her eyes widened in complete bewilderment. “She wanted to change the fucking world. And now, it’s your turn.” Finally, he looked over at her, moving his eyes ever so slightly, and told her a version of what her Mother might have truly meant.

  Her heart began to race, that’s not possible. There’s absolutely no way that could be true, because– “Is it… okay? For someone like me I mean. For someone like me, to try and change the world?” Upon hearing that question, Neil looked away from her again. Placing a hand over his face, he responded;

  “You idiot. It could only be someone like you.” Those were the words that Neil imparted upon April on that day, that forevermore, would be wound into a curse down to her very soul, which could never be broken.

  △▼△▼△▼△

  Tension grew in the halls of the U.S.S. Starlight Hope. Political dissidents spoke out, protests were regularly planned. Pressure was placed upon the opposition party, and distrust began to grow aboard the container. Some people felt it appropriate to arm themselves in any way possible in the circumstances they were in, others began to rely on those in their immediate vicinity to form mutual aid organizations.

  It was clear as day that fascism had arrived, and mere electoral politics would not be sufficient enough to weed out the existential threat to humanity. Those who had grown hopeless in the face of adversity, had just a dash of hope reignited. –No, rather than reignited, it was as if a flame on the verge of being snuffed out entirely was being kept alive by the covering of a body, so as to prevent the slightest breeze from killing off their passion.

  The only thing people could turn to, was the one person brave enough to risk it all, and free the prisoners from that detainment center. They did not enjoy having to resort to violence. However, that person's actions alone had saved an unknown amount of people. Not just those that were freed from arrest, but those too, who might have had their fire extinguished by the crushing circumstances. That, was the only light that was provided.