The soul was fundamentally different from the mind. The mind was fluid; even memories shifted slightly every time they were recalled, constantly adjusting and growing, perceptions shifting, and understanding slowly evolving. It was, in many ways, a chaotic system, making every poke and prod cause ripples, sometimes big, sometimes small. A critical aspect of the art I was learning was to keep the ripples contained, or they might just turn into a metaphorical earthquake, leaving nothing but death and devastation in their wake.
The soul, on the other hand, was almost entirely rigid. It changed slowly, only truly morphing if something fundamental about a person changed. It could be some sudden epiphany, allowing the person to realise some aspect of their own being and recognise that they weren’t the person they had been moments before. I was reasonably sure that I had experienced such a moment, back on Mundus, when I ran across Sigmir for the first time. Just seeing her, I had instinctively stepped up and risked my life to help her.
Even now, I wouldn’t be able to truly explain why I felt that need, other than the fact that I loved her. But how I had loved her, without knowing her, or even really seeing her, I wouldn’t be able to explain. I just knew I needed to step in. Not compelled by an external source, but driven by an instinctual need, something the Grandmother had later explained as a result of our Soul Bond. Remembering that aspect of our relationship, I idly wondered if that might be another possible tether to tug at, trying to find her soul.
It wasn’t impossible, but if I was being honest with myself, I doubted it would be that easy. As romantic as the notion of a love that transcended death was, Adra and Callista had a Soul Bond, at least that’s what I had been told, and the Grandmother had been unable to resurrect the person Adra had been. They had been forced to wait until she was reborn naturally, without any recollection of her beloved, and, more importantly, without the bond. Only Callista’s side of the bond had remained, which might just be the most painful thing imaginable.
Or the changing of one’s soul could be a slower process. The one that had me acknowledge Carnelia and Luna as my daughters, despite my previous desire to remain eternally childfree, could serve as an example. I had never wanted children, and yet, back when my daughters came into my life, each in their own way, they had somehow created a space within my soul for them, becoming important. Looking back, I couldn’t really pinpoint a moment of change. It had been a gradual process, taking longer for Lia than for Luna. But it had happened, and, even looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing about this.
What I wanted to accomplish here was neither of those things. I didn’t want to superficially change the soul, though that was something Luna and I had managed before. We had infused various elements into different creatures, altering them in the process. However, that was somewhat surface-level, something that could also happen naturally, as it had with me, when I had used that first crystal of Eternal Ice to unleash a massive cone of pure Ice Magic, destroying the endboss in the dungeon under the glacier. Doing so had exposed my soul to enough Ice Astral Power to force me to adapt, and it would have killed someone with less innate affinity towards Ice Magic. I had survived, but I had changed.
Luna and I could do that purposefully, though the process still the unfortunate habit of killing about half of our test subjects, but we were getting better.
What I wanted to accomplish here was both easier and, almost certainly, a lot harder. I doubted there was an actual, natural way for anyone to interact with another’s soul. The closest I had come to interacting with that layer of my own soul had been accidentally, when delving into my own being the day before.
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Looking back, I was fairly confident that doing so was quite the feat, something few people ever accomplished. It would certainly explain why Lady Hecate was so interested in the memory, drawing me into her realm immediately and trading for it. Or it might have something to do with the other two presences I had felt within my soul. Those likely belonged to the Pale Lady and the Mother, separate from me, but remaining a part of me nonetheless. Sure, that was only a guess, but it felt right. Felt logical, though it didn’t really help me with the idea to transfer the bond between Carnelia and me to one of them, so my daughter wasn’t bound to a physical being, but to a conceptual one instead. But I would only contemplate that further when I had a better handle on this.
Dominion over Souls, as Lady Hecate had told me so long ago, was one of the three accomplishments I needed to resurrect Sigmir, alongside Mastery over Life and deep insights into the mysteries of the Mind. Learning how the Mind and the Soul interacted, how significant experiences were encoded into the soul, literally leaving a mark on it, was undoubtedly part of those requirements.
Sitting next to the guy’s head, I let myself drift. First, I wanted to replicate the feat of interacting with my own soul, just as I had earlier. Hopefully, that would give me a clue to the interaction with another’s soul. Hel, just learning where to start would be worthwhile. Looking at the guy’s soul now, using my Soul Sight, didn’t give me much. The thing was a pristine whole, without any cracks, openings or anything that might allow a probing magical entrance.
I could tell that the guy had minuscule magical abilities, both regarding his elemental affinities and fundamentally. He wouldn’t be able to cast any large spells. Even something I could accomplish with barely a wave of my hand, a bored snort and a roll of my eyes would take his entire well of Astral Power, leaving him exhausted and potentially passed out.
Out of curiosity, I started gently prodding his Soul with the often-neglected Observe ability. It was something I rarely used, simply because it needed to be carefully concealed, as it gave the person being Observe’d the impression that somebody was forcefully stripping away the layers that concealed them from the world, something few could accept. The vast majority would see it as an intimate violation and react accordingly, meaning, almost always violently.
In this case, the guy was literally a captive audience. He couldn’t even begin to try fighting me, even if he managed to wake up, so I decided to see if I could glean a little more information before proceeding to try exploring my own soul.
Each time I used the ability, I noticed that the soul reacted, just a little. The ability wasn’t taking anything away from the soul, but it was apparent that there was an interaction. Maybe because the system, which I assumed the Observe ability was interacting with, was linked to a person through their soul, or maybe there was some other reason. But, the more I poked and prodded, the more I realised that the guy would almost certainly be intensely uncomfortable if he were awake, maybe even in severe pain. It was a good thing that he was utterly unconscious; needless torture wasn’t something I enjoyed.
Eventually, after I learned the entire, utterly mediocre distribution of attributes and the guy’s short, lacking list of skills, I decided to delve into my own soul. Just in case the guy woke up, I made sure to refresh the paralysis of his body and even bound him with shackles of stone. I had no interest in getting my head knocked off because he woke up at the wrong time and decided to flail around or something like that. Unlikely, sure, but better safe than sorry.
Following the same steps I had used earlier that morning, I began to quiet my mind, allowing myself to drift into that strange state. Trying to stop thinking was abhorrent to me; it felt fundamentally wrong to stop using my mind, but it was a necessity to delve past my usually racing mind.
Sadly, it soon became apparent that my mind just wouldn’t properly shut up in this place. There was always a bit of worry that the guy might wake up and pray to Sunna, giving the game away. Or that somebody might find us here. My mind kept conjuring up possible scenarios that would see me in deep trouble, keeping me from that state of relaxation.
So, eventually, I gave up. Here, out in the open, this wouldn’t work. If I wanted to delve into my soul, I needed to be in a space I considered truly secure. Maybe even one I considered sacred.
Glancing at the unconscious body, I considered my next step.
